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TV Movies: May 23-29MOVIE RATINGS = Poor = Fair = Good = ExcellentG = General audiencesPG = Parental GuidancePG-13 = Not recommended for preteensR = Restricted audienceCC = Closed captioned for hearing impaired ALPHABETICAL LISTINGA

• Abominable ‘06. Matt McCoy. A disabled man tries to warn others about a legendary beast roaming the California mountains. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 11 P.M. (CC)

• Above the Law ‘88. Steven Seagal. A Chicago policewoman helps her cynical partner rid his working-class neighborhood of cocaine dealers. (R) (2:00) AMC: Thu. 8 P.M., Fri. 6 P.M.

• The Abyss ‘89. Ed Harris. Oil-platform workers, including an estranged couple, and a Navy SEAL make a startling deep-sea discovery. (PG-13) (2:30) HBO: Thu. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• Accepted ‘06. Justin Long. After trying and failing to get into college, a high-school senior and his friends fool parents and peers by creating their own university. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Sat. 7 P.M. (CC)

• Aeon Flux ‘05. Charlize Theron. In the last city on Earth, underground rebels dispatch their top assassin to kill a government leader. (PG-13) (1:45) TNT: Fri. 2:15 A.M. (CC)

• After Innocence ‘05. Filmmaker Jessica Sanders interviews seven men who were wrongfully imprisoned until DNA testing set them free. (NR) (1:35) SHO: Mon. 12:30 P.M., Fri. 11:55 A.M. (CC)

• After the Wedding ‘06. Mads Mikkelsen. Surprises await the manager of an orphanage when he attends the wedding of a benefactor’s daughter. (R) (2:05) STZ: Mon. 4:40 A.M. (CC)

• Air America ‘90. Mel Gibson. CIA-funded pilots hit drug traffic while flying supplies for the covert war effort in Laos. (R) (1:55) ENC: Thu. 9:50 P.M. (CC)

• Airplane II: The Sequel ‘82. Robert Hays. The first commercial space shuttle has loony Ted and his former girlfriend bound for the moon. (PG) (2:00) COMEDY: Tue. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Alexander ‘04. Colin Farrell. The young Macedonian king and general leads his army into battle to conquer much of the known world. (NR) (3:00) SYFY: Sun. 11:30 A.M. (CC)

• Alien Apocalypse ‘05. Bruce Campbell. Astronauts return from a deep-space mission to find that humans have been enslaved by giant alien bugs. (2:00) SYFY: Sun. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Alien Nation ‘88. James Caan. A police detective and his humanoid partner find a conspiracy of “newcomers” in 1991 Los Angeles. (R) (1:30) ENC: Thu. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Alien Sex Files 3: Sex Invaders ‘09. Jenae Alt. Hot extraterrestrials satisfy primal urges. (NR) (1:30) MAX: Sun. midnight (CC)

• Aliens ‘86. Sigourney Weaver. The survivor of a horrific alien attack returns to planet LB 426 with Marines sent to check out the situation. (R) (3:00) SYFY: Sun. 5 P.M., Thu. 4 P.M. (CC)

• The Alphabet Killer ‘08. Eliza Dushku. Former cop Megan Price investigates a murder similar to one that drove her crazy. (R) (1:45) TMC: Fri. 3 P.M. (CC)

• An American Carol ‘08. Kevin Farley. When an anti-American filmmaker launches a crusade to abolish the Independence Day holiday, three patriotic spirits show him the true meaning of America. (PG-13) (1:25) TMC: Sun. 6:10 A.M., 2 P.M. (CC)

• American Pie 2 ‘01. Jason Biggs. Old friends gather after their freshman year in college to rent a summerhouse on Lake Michigan and chase girls. (R) (1:45) ENC: Tue. 4:30 P.M., 1:30 A.M. (CC)

• American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile ‘06. John White. A high schooler believes he can lose his virginity at a notorious race where people run in the nude. (R) (2:00) COMEDY: Fri. 2 A.M. (CC)

• Analyze That ‘02. Robert De Niro. Released from prison, gangster Paul Vitti seeks further help from his troubled psychotherapist. (R) (1:40) MAX: Tue. 4:10 A.M. (CC)

• Angel Eyes ‘01. Jennifer Lopez. A Chicago policewoman with memories of child abuse meets a man who saw his family die in a car accident. (R) (1:45) MAX: Mon. 3:30 A.M. (CC)

• Antibody ‘02. Lance Henriksen. Scientists use a tiny experimental craft to navigate through a terrorist’s body to find and destroy a nuclear detonator. (R) (1:40) TMC: Thu. 10:20 A.M. (CC)

• Appaloosa ‘08. Ed Harris. The arrival of an attractive widow complicates the attempts of two lawmen to bring a malevolent rancher to justice. (R) (2:00) MAX: Sat. 7 A.M. (CC)

• April Fool’s Day ‘86. Deborah Foreman. Heiress Muffy invites preppie friends to her family’s island for practical jokes, but a slasher ruins the fun. (R) (1:30) TMC: Sun. 12:30 P.M.

• Army of Darkness ‘92. Bruce Campbell. A supermarket worker finds himself in medieval England with a chainsaw and a ‘73 Olds. (R) (1:30) MAX: Wed. 6:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Associate ‘96. Whoopi Goldberg. A Wall Street whiz invents a male partner to attract clients for her fledgling investment business. (PG-13) (2:00) TBS: Sat. 2:30 A.M.

• The Astronaut Farmer ‘07. Billy Bob Thornton. Pursuing a lifelong dream, a rancher, who once trained to be an astronaut, builds his own rocket and plans to launch it into space. (PG) (2:30) AMC: Mon. 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• August Rush ‘07. Freddie Highmore. A boy uses his prodigious musical gifts to find his parents, unaware that they have begun a similar journey to find him. (PG) (2:30) LIFE: Wed. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Australia ‘08. Nicole Kidman. An English aristocrat and a cattleman drive a herd across the Australian Outback to save her ranch from a hostile takeover. (PG-13) (2:50) MAX: Sat. 12:10 P.M. (CC)

• Avalanche: Nature Unleashed ‘04. Andrew Lee Potts. Two brothers and an avalanche researcher try to convince villagers that a giant wall of snow will soon destroy their valley. (PG-13) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 9 A.M. (CC)

B

• Baby Face ‘33. Barbara Stanwyck. An out-of-town working girl rises in a New York bank by using her power over men. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Wed. 9 A.M.

• Babylon A.D. ‘08. Vin Diesel. A post-apocalyptic mercenary guards a nun and her young charge, who may be mankind’s last hope for survival. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Tue. 4 P.M. (CC)

• Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation ‘08. Josh Cooke. An engaged man and his buddies indulge in alcohol and strippers during a wild weekend in Miami. (R) (2:00) COMEDY: Mon. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Backdraft ‘91. Kurt Russell. Two brothers fight each other and an outbreak of arson as Chicago firefighters. (R) (2:20) MAX: Sun. 2:10 P.M. (CC)

• Bad Boys ‘95. Martin Lawrence. Undercover Miami detectives switch lives while investigating murders linked to stolen heroin. (R) (2:00) BET: Sat. 9 P.M.

• The Bad Son ‘07. Catherine Dent. A Seattle policewoman searches for a serial killer whose mother helps him commit the crimes. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sun. noon (CC)

• Bait Shop ‘08. Bill Engvall. The owner of a small-town bait shop competes in a fishing tournament for the prize money to save his business. (PG) (2:00) USA: Thu. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Bangkok Dangerous ‘08. Nicolas Cage. On a mission to carry out a series of contract killings, a hit man becomes a street punk’s unlikely mentor and begins a tentative romance with a shop girl. (R) (1:45) SHO: Sun. 2:15 A.M., Fri. 11:45 P.M. (CC)

• Barbershop ‘02. Ice Cube. The owner of a popular barbershop considers selling the place to a loan shark who wants to convert it into a strip club. (PG-13) (2:00) USA: Sun. 11 A.M., 1 A.M. (CC)

• Bart Got a Room ‘08. William H. Macy. A nerdy high-school senior copes with the divorce of his parents while searching for a date for the prom. (PG-13) (1:20) TMC: Tue. 9:25 A.M., 5:30 A.M., Sat. 4:35 A.M. (CC)

• Battle of Britain ‘69. Laurence Olivier. With London facing almost certain annihilation, British fighter pilots defend their skies against Germany’s Luftwaffe. (G) (2:15) TCM: Sat. 3:15 P.M.

• Battle of the Bulge ‘65. Henry Fonda. Allied officers and a German tank commander have a tactical showdown in the Ardennes forest, December 1944. (NR) (2:45) TCM: Sat. 12:30 P.M.

• Battleground ‘49. Van Johnson. U.S. soldiers from all over fight in the Battle of the Bulge. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Fri. 3:30 P.M. (CC)

• A Beautiful Mind ‘01. Russell Crowe. Mathematics genius John Forbes Nash Jr. has paranoid schizophrenia but becomes a Nobel laureate late in life. (PG-13) (2:15) HBO: Wed. 12:45 P.M., Sat. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Beauty Betrayed ‘02. Samm Croft. A maverick detective and his female partner investigate the murder of a supermodel. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Fri. 1:15 A.M. (CC)

• Before I Hang ‘40. Boris Karloff. A condemned scientist experiments with the aging process and injects himself with a killer’s blood. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Mon. 7 A.M. (CC)

• Behind Enemy Lines ‘01. Owen Wilson. A Navy admiral orders the rescue of a fighter pilot after the Serbs shoot down his plane in Bosnia. (PG-13) (1:50) MAX: Tue. 10 P.M.

• Being John Malkovich ‘99. John Cusack. A puppeteer and his co-worker discover a tunnel that allows others to enter the actor’s mind and body for 15 minutes at a time. (R) (2:00) SHO: Thu. 12:15 A.M.

• Beowulf ‘07. Voices of Ray Winstone. Animated. After destroying the demon Grendel, a mighty warrior faces an even-more-potent enemy in the form of its seductive, vengeful mother. (PG-13) (2:30) FX: Sun. 6:30 P.M.

• The Best Man ‘06. Keeley Hawes. A woman unwittingly disrupts the relationship between her new husband and his friend. (NR) (2:00) BET: Tue. 8 P.M., 1 A.M.

• The Best Years of Our Lives ‘46. Fredric March. A disabled serviceman and two other veterans have difficulty adjusting to civilian life after World War II. (NR) (3:00) TCM: Sat. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Beverly Hills Chihuahua ‘08. Piper Perabo. A pampered pooch from Beverly Hills must rely on help from scrappy Mexican street dogs after she is accidentally separated from her caretaker. (PG) (1:35) ENC: Mon. 9:10 A.M., 8 P.M., 5:20 A.M., Fri. 12:35 P.M., Sat. 8:40 A.M. (CC)

• Beyond a Reasonable Doubt ‘09. Jesse Metcalfe. A journalist’s plan to expose a corrupt district attorney backfires when the journalist’s quarry gets wind of the set-up. (PG-13) (1:50) STZ: Tue. 12:20 P.M. (CC)

• Beyond the Gates ‘05. John Hurt. In 1994 Rwanda, a priest and a teacher at a secondary school get caught up in the genocidal conflict between the Hutu and the Tutsi. (R) (2:00) TMC: Mon. 3:50 P.M.

• Bicentennial Man ‘99. Robin Williams. With the help of the family he works for, a robot goes on a 200-year quest to become human. (PG) (2:00) WGN-A: Sat. midnight (CC)

• The Big Kahuna ‘99. Kevin Spacey. Three traveling salesmen meet and find they are all waiting for the same potential client. (R) (1:45) TMC: Thu. 8:35 A.M., 4:45 P.M. (CC)

• The Big Parade ‘25. John Gilbert. Silent. An American soldier has a fling with a Frenchwoman but saves his real enthusiasm for combat. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Sun. midnight.

• The Big Stampede ‘32. John Wayne. A young marshal arrives to investigate the death of his predecessor and clean up a gang of cattle rustlers. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 8 A.M.

• Bigger Than the Sky ‘05. Marcus Thomas. Despite his dismal audition, a man lands the lead role in a community-theater production of “Cyrano de Bergerac.” (PG-13) (1:50) SHO: Mon. 7:10 A.M., Fri. 10 A.M.

• The Bikini Shop ‘86. Michael David Wright. MBA and beach bum inherit aunt’s bikini shop. (R) (1:40) TMC: Tue. 3:50 A.M. (CC)

• Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey ‘91. Keanu Reeves. Grim Reaper helps dopes stop their evil robot twins. (PG) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 7:30 A.M. (CC)

• Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure ‘89. Keanu Reeves. Two dopey dudes go back in time to fetch Beethoven, Napoleon and other biggies for a history project. (PG) (1:30) HBO: Mon. 6 A.M. (CC)

• The Birdcage ‘96. Robin Williams. In Miami Beach a gay couple pretend to be man and wife when a son’s future father-in-law and family visit. (R) (2:45) COMEDY: Sun. 1:45 P.M. (CC)

• Birdy ‘84. Matthew Modine. A Vietnam veteran helps his bird-obsessed boyhood buddy in a psychiatric hospital. (R) (2:15) TCM: Sat. 1:15 A.M.

• Black Hole ‘06. Judd Nelson. An experiment gone awry unleashes a giant black hole that threatens to swallow the Midwest. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Wed. noon (CC)

• Black Ops ‘08. Gary Stretch. A veteran officer encounters supernatural forces aboard a secret prison ship. (R) (1:30) SHO: Mon. 2:05 P.M.

• Blindness ‘08. Julianne Moore. A doctor’s wife is one of the only individuals immune to a strange epidemic that causes people to lose their eyesight. (R) (2:05) STZ: Sun. 4:05 A.M., Mon. 2:35 P.M. (CC)

• Blow ‘01. Johnny Depp. In the 1970s a man works with Colombian smugglers to establish the cocaine business in the United States. (R) (2:10) STZ: Mon. 4:40 P.M., 2:30 A.M., Thu. 1:30 P.M., 8:55 P.M., Fri. 9:20 A.M. (CC)

• Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road ‘06. Comics Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and Ron White perform their stand-up routines. (NR) (2:30) COMEDY: Sun. 8:30 P.M., Mon. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie ‘03. Jeff Foxworthy. Filmmaker C.B. Harding captures stand-up performances by Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White and Larry the Cable Guy. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Sun. 6:30 P.M., 3 A.M. (CC)

• Bob the Butler ‘05. Tom Green. A novice manservant takes a job with a neurotic single mother and her mischievous children. (PG) (1:30) SHO: Tue. 7:30 A.M.

• Boomerang ‘92. Eddie Murphy. A Manhattan playboy gets a new corporate boss, and she treats him the way he has always treated women. (R) (2:00) MAX: Wed. 7:30 A.M.

• Bordertown ‘07. Jennifer Lopez. A journalist probes the murders of hundreds of Mexican women near a Juarez factory owned by a U.S. company. (R) (2:00) SHO: Tue. 2 A.M. (CC)

• The Bourne Identity ‘02. Matt Damon. A woman helps an amnesiac,who has a dangerous past, to dodge assassins as he tries to learn about himself. (PG-13) (2:30) FX: Wed. 8 P.M., 10:30 P.M.

• Braless in Burbank ‘09. A beautiful columnist gives advice on love. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Wed. 1:30 A.M. (CC)

• The Break-Up ‘06. Vince Vaughn. Former lovers live together as hostile roommates when both refuse to move out of their shared condominium. (PG-13) (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 9 P.M., 11 P.M. (CC)

• Brideshead Revisited ‘08. Matthew Goode. Befriended by aristocrat Sebastian Flyte, Oxford student Charles Ryder finds the family’s power and privilege seductive, and he falls in love with Sebastian’s sister, Julia. (PG-13) (2:20) ENC: Wed. 5:40 A.M. (CC)

• The Bridge on the River Kwai ‘57. William Holden. A British POW colonel orders his men to build their Japanese captor a railway bridge in the jungle. (PG) (2:45) TCM: Fri. 1:15 A.M. (CC)

• Bridget Jones’s Diary ‘01. Ren??e Zellweger. An outrageous British woman decides to take control of her life, but instead falls for two very different men. (R) (1:40) ENC: Mon. 6:20 P.M. (CC)

• Bring It On Again ‘04. Anne Judson-Yager. Two college cheerleaders form their own squad and prepare to compete against the varsity team. (PG-13) (2:00) USA: Thu. 11 A.M., 2 A.M. (CC)

• Broken Arrow ‘96. John Travolta. An Air Force pilot matches wits with a renegade colleague who is threatening to detonate a pair of nuclear warheads. (R) (1:50) ENC: Thu. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Broken Bridges ‘06. Toby Keith. A fallen country singer reunites with his true love and meets his teenage daughter for the first time. (PG-13) (2:15) CMT: Sat. 3:30 P.M.

• Broken Lizard’s Club Dread ‘04. Bill Paxton. A killer terrorizes vacationers and staff members at a Caribbean resort owned by a has-been rocker. (R) (2:00) COMEDY: Fri. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Broken Rainbow ‘85. Narrated by Martin Sheen. Anthropologist Victoria Mudd directed this account of thousands of Navajos being forced from their Arizona homeland. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Thu. 1 A.M.

• Brubaker ‘80. Robert Redford. The new warden of a corrupt Southern prison starts by posing as an inmate to observe its brutality. (R) (3:00) AMC: Tue. noon.

• Buck Privates ‘41. Bud Abbott. Draftees Slicker and Herbie go to boot camp and foul up everything, especially a rifle drill. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Sat. 8 A.M. (CC)

• Buffalo Bill ‘44. Joel McCrea. Scout William F. Cody marries a U.S. senator’s daughter, fights the Cheyenne and leads a Wild West show. (NR) (2:00) AMC: Sat. 9 A.M.

• Bully ‘01. Brad Renfro. Florida teenagers lure the school bully to a swamp, then beat him to death. (NR) (1:55) MAX: Thu. 3:10 A.M. (CC)

• Burn After Reading ‘08. George Clooney. Chaos reigns when a gym employee and her colleague try to benefit from a disc that they think holds state secrets but, really, contains the memoirs of a former CIA analyst. (R) (1:40) HBO: Mon. 1:40 A.M. (CC)

• Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial ‘09. Beautiful policewomen protect a sacred and powerful gem. (NR) (1:20) MAX: Mon. 2:10 A.M., Sat. 12:15 A.M. (CC)

C

• The Caller ‘08. Frank Langella. A corporate whistleblower hires a detective to put him under surveillance. (PG-13) (1:35) TMC: Sun. 5:25 A.M.

• Can’t Hardly Wait ‘98. Jennifer Love Hewitt. A teen decides to proclaim his love for a classmate at their high-school graduation party. (PG-13) (2:00) MTV: Fri. 10 P.M., midnight.

• The Captain’s Paradise ‘53. Alec Guinness. A British packet-ship captain shuttles between night-and-day wives in Gibraltar and Spanish Morocco. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Sun. 6:30 A.M. (CC)

• Casino Royale ‘06. Daniel Craig. After receiving a license to kill, British agent James Bond enters a high-stakes poker game with Le Chiffre, a man who finances terrorist groups. (PG-13) (3:00) SYFY: Sun. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Cast Away ‘00. Tom Hanks. After a plane crash at sea, a Federal Express engineer survives on a remote island for four years in complete isolation. (PG-13) (2:25) MAX: Thu. 8:35 A.M. (CC)

• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ‘05. Johnny Depp. A poor boy and four spoiled children win a tour through the incredible factory of an odd confectioner. (PG) (2:00) DIS: Tue. 8 P.M., Wed. noon (CC)

• Charlie Bartlett ‘07. Anton Yelchin. An awkward teenager endears himself to the student body by becoming the self-appointed psychiatrist at his new school. (R) (1:40) TMC: Mon. 2:10 P.M.

• Chicken Little ‘05. Voices of Zach Braff. Animated. A young fowl and his friends flock together to save skeptical townsfolk from an alien attack. (G) (1:30) DIS: Mon. noon (CC)

• Chocolat ‘00. Juliette Binoche. The mayor opposes a single mother who is opening a chocolate shop in his 1950s French village across from a church during Lent. (PG-13) (2:00) WGN-A: Sun. 2 A.M., Sat. 4 A.M. (CC)

• The Chocolate War ‘88. John Glover. A schoolboy refuses to sell chocolate for a teacher or a bully at a Roman Catholic school for boys. (R) (1:45) TMC: Wed. 6:15 P.M.

• Club Paradise ‘86. Robin Williams. A Chicago firefighter and a reggae musician turn a Caribbean dive into a swinging-singles resort. (PG-13) (1:40) ENC: Tue. 4:50 A.M. (CC)

• Cobra ‘86. Sylvester Stallone. A Los Angeles detective and his partner protect a model from a night slasher and his neo-fascist army. (R) (1:30) ENC: Sun. 1 P.M. (CC)

• Cocoon ‘85. Don Ameche. Ron Howard’s Oscar-winning tale about Florida retirees who find the fountain of youth in a pool filled with alien pods. (PG-13) (2:00) ENC: Fri. 8:50 A.M. (CC)

• Collateral Damage ‘02. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A Los Angeles firefighter travels to Colombia to find the terrorist who killed his wife and son. (R) (2:00) MAX: Mon. 8 P.M., Fri. 2 A.M. (CC)

• College ‘08. Drake Bell. Three high-school seniors spend a wild weekend with members of Fairmont University’s rowdiest fraternity. (R) (1:45) SHO: Sat. 2:15 A.M. (CC)

• Color Me Kubrick ‘05. John Malkovich. An audacious con artist raises the art of deception to a new level by successfully posing as Stanley Kubrick, despite having no resemblance to the reclusive filmmaker. (NR) (1:45) SHO: Thu. 6:15 P.M., 2:15 A.M.

• Command Decision ‘48. Clark Gable. Generals criticized for sending bombers to Germany. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Fri. noon (CC)

• Company Man ‘00. Douglas McGrath. A CIA agent recounts his misadventures for two senators, beginning with his wife who wanted to write a tell-all about his life. (PG-13) (1:25) SHO: Thu. 5:35 A.M.

• Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen ‘04. Lindsay Lohan. After moving to New Jersey with her mother, a teen tries to dethrone the most popular girl at her new school. (PG) (1:40) DIS: Thu. 8 P.M., Fri. noon.

• Contract Killers ‘08. Frida Farrell. Framed for murder, a beautiful assassin goes on the run to prove her innocence. (R) (1:30) TMC: Tue. 6:30 P.M.

• The Count of Monte Cristo ‘02. Jim Caviezel. A French sailor, framed and sent to an island prison, escapes and seeks revenge on those who betrayed him. (PG-13) (2:15) ENC: Sun. 5 A.M. (CC)

• Cow Belles ‘06. Alyson Michalka. Forced to work for their wealthy father, two teenagers try to save his business when money goes missing. (NR) (1:40) DIS: Sun. noon (CC)

• The Craft ‘96. Robin Tunney. Teen misfits befriend a suicidal newcomer and strike back at tormentors with witchcraft in Los Angeles. (R) (2:00) E!: Tue. 5 P.M., Wed. 1 P.M.

• Crimson Tide ‘95. Denzel Washington. U.S. submarine officers clash over orders to launch nukes. (R) (2:00) MAX: Sun. 4:30 P.M., Fri. 8:30 A.M. (CC)

• Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles ‘01. Paul Hogan. Mick and his girlfriend return to America and link the mysterious death of a reporter to a movie studio. (PG) (1:35) TMC: Wed. 6:50 A.M., 3 P.M., Sat. 6 A.M., 3:05 P.M.

• The Culpepper Cattle Company ‘72. Gary Grimes. A teen talks a trail boss into taking him on a cattle drive from Texas to Colorado. (PG) (2:15) AMC: Sat. 1 P.M.

• Cutthroat Island ‘95. Geena Davis. A map written in Latin leads a slain pirate’s daughter and her partner to gold and into battle with a murderous uncle. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Wed. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• Cyborg Soldier ‘08. Bruce Greenwood. An engineer leads a group of military agents to find a genetically engineered assassin on the run. (R) (1:30) TMC: Thu. 1:35 P.M.

D

• Daddy’s Little Girls ‘07. Gabrielle Union. An unexpected romance blooms between a struggling mechanic and the attorney who is representing him in a custody battle for his young daughters. (PG-13) (2:00) TBS: Thu. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Dangerous Blondes ‘43. Allyn Joslyn. A mystery writer and his wife probe a murder at a high-class fashion studio. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 11 A.M.

• Dangerous Invitations ‘02. Beverly Lynne. A couple’s attempt to spice up their sex life with a third partner yields nightmarish results. (NR) (1:30) SHO: Mon. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Dangerous Sex Games ‘04. Young beauties seduce eager men. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Thu. 2:05 A.M. (CC)

• Darkness Falls ‘03. Chaney Kley. The spirit of a woman who was lynched more than 150 years earlier haunts residents of a New England town. (PG-13) (1:30) STZ: Sun. 2 P.M., 10:40 P.M. (CC)

• The Darkroom ‘06. Reed Diamond. After escaping from an asylum, an amnesiac befriends a teen and begins to piece together his identity. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Sat. 9 P.M., midnight (CC)

• The Darwin Awards ‘06. Joseph Fiennes. A former police detective and a cynical field agent investigate suspicious deaths across the country for an insurance company. (R) (1:35) TMC: Sat. 11:55 A.M.

• Day of the Dead ‘08. Ving Rhames. After zombies take over the world, a group of survivors struggles to survive within a bunker. (R) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 4 A.M.

• Dead Men Walking ‘05. Griff Furst. Inmates and guards try to survive while zombies run amok inside a maximum-security prison. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. noon.

• Deal ‘08. Burt Reynolds. A former card shark finds a way to get back in the game by forming an alliance with an up-and-coming poker player. (PG-13) (1:30) TMC: Thu. 6:30 P.M.

• Death Sentence ‘07. Kevin Bacon. A suburban businessman becomes a vigilante after thugs kill his son during a gas station robbery. (R) (2:30) FX: Sat. 10:30 A.M.

• Death Tunnel ‘05. Steffany Huckaby. Terror awaits five college women as they spend the night at a haunted Kentucky sanatorium. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill ‘04. Chelsea Jean. A killer returns from the grave to lead an army of zombies against a drug dealer and a group of high-schoolers. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 8 A.M.

• Deception ‘08. Hugh Jackman. After a charismatic lawyer introduces him to an underground sex club, an accountant becomes the prime suspect in a woman’s disappearance. (R) (1:50) MAX: Thu. 2:40 P.M. (CC)

• Deeply ‘00. Lynn Redgrave. A teenager befriends an eccentric novelist writing a story about a woman’s escape from a remote island. (NR) (1:45) TMC: Wed. 1:15 P.M. (CC)

• Deliver Us From Eva ‘03. LL Cool J. In order to get a breather from their meddling sister-in-law, three men pay a playboy $5,000 to romance her. (R) (2:00) TBS: Sat. 1:30 P.M., 12:30 A.M. (CC)

• Descent ‘07. Rosario Dawson. After a rape strips away her innocence and bright future, a college student plans revenge against her attacker. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Wed. 8 A.M. (CC)

• Deviant Affairs ‘09. Three beautiful girlfriends discuss their love lives. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Mon. 2:45 A.M. (CC)

• The Devil Wears Nada ‘10. Christine Nguyen. Sexy mischief threatens a magazine worker’s new job. (NR) (1:20) TMC: Tue. 12:50 A.M.

• The Devil Wears Nada ‘10. Christine Nguyen. Sexy mischief threatens a magazine worker’s new job. (NR) (1:20) MAX: Fri. 12:40 A.M. (CC)

• Disaster Movie ‘08. Matt Lanter. During a fateful night, a group of impossibly attractive 20-somethings must dodge a series of man-made and natural disasters. (PG-13) (1:30) TMC: Sun. 6:35 P.M., Fri. 11:40 P.M.

• The Ditchdigger’s Daughters ‘97. Carl Lumbly. A black laborer works long hours, builds his own house and pushes his six daughters hard to succeed. (2:00) BET: Wed. 1 P.M.

• Dive Bomber ‘41. Errol Flynn. A Navy doctor helps to cure high-altitude flying problems. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Fri. 7:15 A.M. (CC)

• Dog Park ‘98. Natasha Henstridge. A man’s ex-girlfriend takes his dog, and his new love interest values her dog above men. (R) (2:00) FX: Mon. 8 A.M.

• Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood ‘96. Shawn Wayans. A Los Angeles teen with an irresponsible father seeks guidance from a cousin whose weapons color-coordinate with his sneakers. (R) (1:30) ENC: Tue. 3 P.M., Fri. 1:50 A.M., Sat. 2:40 P.M. (CC)

• Don’t Say a Word ‘01. Michael Douglas. A desperate psychiatrist must get a patient to give him information that will convince a kidnapper to free the doctor’s kidnapped daughter. (R) (2:05) HBO: Fri. 4:25 A.M. (CC)

• Double Duty ‘09. Mimi Lesseos. A tough woman discovers her feminine side when she leaves the Marines and adjusts to civilian life. (NR) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 10 A.M.

• Double Impact ‘91. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Good and evil twins are reunited in Hong Kong as heirs to a fortune, experts in martial arts. (R) (1:50) ENC: Sat. 12:20 A.M. (CC)

• Double Wedding ‘37. William Powell. A dress designer falls for a lazy artist after deeming him unworthy of her sister. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Sun. 8:15 A.M. (CC)

• Doubt ‘08. Meryl Streep. Suspicions of child abuse fuel a traditionalist nun’s personal crusade against a popular priest who wants to reform her school’s strict customs. (PG-13) (1:45) STZ: Mon. 10:35 A.M., 10:50 P.M., Tue. 6:45 A.M. (CC)

• Down to Earth ‘01. Chris Rock. Accidentally sent to Heaven, a comic returns to Earth in the body of a Manhattan mogul whose family is plotting to kill him. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Thu. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Drag Me to Hell ‘09. Alison Lohman. After actions trigger the loss of an old woman’s home, an ambitious loan officer finds herself the victim of a powerful curse that will damn her soul for eternity. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Sun. 8:45 A.M., 8:15 P.M., Mon. 1 P.M., 10 P.M., Wed. 9:30 A.M., 10 P.M. (CC)

• Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story ‘93. Jason Scott Lee. Based on the life of the martial artist from Hong Kong who found fame as a movie star living in danger. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Tue. 3 P.M., 2 A.M.

• Dragonball: Evolution ‘09. Justin Chatwin. A young warrior must protect Earth from the vengeful Lord Piccolo by preventing seven mystical orbs from falling into Piccolo’s hands. (PG) (1:30) HBO: Sat. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Dream Lover ‘94. James Spader. A Los Angeles architect learns his second wife is not who she claims to be. (R) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 3:35 A.M. (CC)

• Dreamcatcher ‘03. Morgan Freeman. While staying at a cabin in the woods, telepathic friends confront aliens that are being hunted by the military. (R) (2:15) MAX: Tue. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Driven ‘01. Sylvester Stallone. A former racer returns to the sport to help a rising star. (PG-13) (2:30) WGN-A: Fri. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Driving Miss Daisy ‘89. Morgan Freeman. An Atlanta widow and her chauffeur reflect the changing times, from 1948 to 1973. (PG) (2:15) CMT: Sat. 5:45 P.M.

• Dude, Where’s My Car? ‘00. Ashton Kutcher. Two potheads wake to discover their car missing, their drug stash gone and no memory of the previous night’s events. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Wed. 6 A.M. (CC)

• Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd ‘03. Eric Christian Olsen. A corrupt principal puts two teenagers in a class for students with special needs. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Sun. 9:45 A.M. (CC)

• Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd ‘03. Eric Christian Olsen. A corrupt principal puts two teenagers in a class for students with special needs. (PG-13) (2:00) FX: Mon. 10 A.M., Tue. 8 A.M.

E

• Eagle Eye ‘08. Shia LaBeouf. Two strangers become pawns of a mysterious woman who threatens their friends and family and uses technology to control their every move. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Wed. 7:30 A.M., 6:30 P.M., Sat. 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Eiger Sanction ‘75. Clint Eastwood. An art professor must draw on his abilities as an assassin to kill an unknown enemy agent during a Swiss mountain climb. (R) (2:10) MAX: Sun. 3:40 A.M. (CC)

• Elegy ‘08. Pen??lope Cruz. A beautiful student awakens feelings of sexual possessiveness in an aging professor. (R) (1:55) TMC: Sun. 3:30 A.M. (CC)

• Enemy at the Gates ‘01. Joseph Fiennes. A Nazi sniper (Ed Harris) travels to Stalingrad to find and kill a Russian sharpshooter, the hero of the propaganda campaign of a political officer. (R) (2:15) TMC: Wed. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Enemy of the State ‘98. Will Smith. A former NSA operative aids the innocent victim of a politically motivated assassination cover-up. (R) (3:00) FX: Tue. 7 P.M., Wed. 5 P.M.

• Enough ‘02. Jennifer Lopez. After running away fails, a terrified woman empowers herself in order to battle her abusive husband. (PG-13) (2:00) AMC: Wed. 8 P.M., Thu. 4:15 P.M.

• The Escapist ‘08. Brian Cox. After learning that his daughter nearly died of a drug overdose, a longtime convict tries to break out of prison. (NR) (1:55) SHO: Fri. 3 P.M.

• E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial ‘82. Henry Thomas. A boy’s close encounter with an alien stranded on Earth leads to a unique friendship in Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning film. (PG) (2:30) ABCFAM: Sun. 7 A.M., Sat. 9 A.M. (CC)

• The Exiles ‘61. Mary Donahue. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Thu. 9:15 P.M.

• Exorcist: The Beginning ‘04. Stellan Skarsgard. While visiting an excavation site in Cairo, Egypt, a former priest sees signs of demonic possession. (R) (2:30) AMC: Fri. 1 A.M. (CC)

• Explicit Ills ‘08. Rosario Dawson. Citizens living on the lower rungs of South Philadelphia society live out their day-to-day lives and hope for something better. (R) (1:30) TMC: Fri. 12:15 P.M., 4:30 A.M. (CC)

• Explorers ‘85. Ethan Hawke. Three boys take a homemade spaceship to another galaxy and meet aliens who speak American TV. (PG) (2:00) SHO: Tue. 9 A.M. (CC)

• The Express ‘08. Dennis Quaid. Ernie Davis overcomes poverty and prejudice to win college football’s Heisman Trophy in 1961. (PG) (2:10) MAX: Tue. 3:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Eye ‘08. Jessica Alba. Following a double corneal transplant, a concert violinist perceives frightening images of a world that only she can see. (PG-13) (1:40) TMC: Mon. 8 P.M.

• Eye for an Eye ‘96. Sally Field. A slain girl’s mother considers vigilantism after police and the courts botch the case against the killer. (R) (1:45) HBO: Tue. 2:05 A.M. (CC)

• Eye See You ‘02. Sylvester Stallone. While staying at a clinic for therapy, an FBI agent searches for a serial killer who is murdering the staff and patients. (R) (1:40) TMC: Tue. 9:35 P.M.

F

• The Face Behind the Mask ‘41. Peter Lorre. An immigrant watchmaker hides his burned face, turns to crime and meets a blind girl who loves him. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Mon. 8:15 A.M.

• Faeries ‘99. Voices of Jeremy Irons. Animated. Two human siblings become unwitting pawns in an evil fairy’s bid to overthrow his twin brother’s throne. (1:15) STZ: Thu. 7:15 A.M. (CC)

• Failure to Launch ‘06. Matthew McConaughey. The parents of a young man who still lives at home hire a beautiful woman to entice him to finally leave the nest. (PG-13) (1:47) TBS: Sun. 8 P.M., 9:47 P.M. (CC)

• Faithful in My Fashion ‘46. Donna Reed. A soldier home on leave learns his sweetheart got a promotion and engaged to another man. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Wed. 2:30 A.M. (CC)

• Familiar Strangers ‘08. Shawn Hatosy. A young man’s Thanksgiving reunion with his dysfunctional family redefines relationships. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Fri. 6:30 P.M., 4:30 A.M.

• The Family Stone ‘05. Dermot Mulroney. A young woman encounters a chilly reception when her boyfriend takes her home to meet his family. (PG-13) (2:00) FX: Mon. 10:30 P.M., Tue. 10 A.M.

• Fast & Furious ‘09. Vin Diesel. Back in Los Angeles, fugitive Dom Torretto and agent Brian O’Conner reignite their feud but, then, must join forces against a common enemy. (PG-13) (1:50) MAX: Tue. 5:40 P.M., 12:20 A.M. (CC)

• Fatal Instinct ‘93. Armand Assante. A cheating wife plots the death of her policeman/lawyer husband to cash in on his insurance policy. (PG-13) (1:30) ENC: Fri. 5:15 A.M. (CC)

• Ferris Bueller’s Day Off ‘86. Matthew Broderick. A brash teen and his friends have an adventure in Chicago. (PG-13) (2:30) VH1: Sun. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Fight Night ‘08. Rebecca Neuenswander. A corrupt boxing promoter engages in fight fixing with his prizefighter. (R) (1:45) TMC: Sun. 3:25 P.M., Thu. 5:30 A.M.

• Fighting ‘09. Channing Tatum. A scam artist introduces a young man to New York’s bare-knuckle street-fighting circuit. (PG-13) (1:45) HBO: Sun. 11:45 A.M., Sat. 8:15 A.M., 7 P.M. (CC)

• The Fighting Temptations ‘03. Cuba Gooding Jr. To collect his aunt’s inheritance, an unemployed man must form a gospel choir and lead it to success. (PG-13) (2:30) TBS: Fri. 11:10 P.M., Sat. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Fire & Ice ‘08. Amy Acker. A princess and a knight must save a kingdom from a rampaging dragon. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Fire Serpent ‘07. Nicholas Brendon. A veteran firefighter tries to convince others about a creature spawned by the sun. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Mon. 10 A.M.

• Fired Up ‘09. Nicholas D’Agosto. Two male high-school football stars enroll in cheerleading camp so they can practice their playbook on pretty girls. (PG-13) (1:35) STZ: Sat. 7:25 P.M., 4:30 A.M. (CC)

• Firehouse Dog ‘07. Josh Hutcherson. Lost and presumed dead by his handlers, a pampered canine star becomes a troubled youth’s best pal and a rundown firehouse’s official mascot. (PG) (2:30) FX: Wed. 8 A.M.

• Flight Lieutenant ‘42. Pat O’Brien. A disgraced World War I pilot re-enlists as a private and seeks his test-pilot son’s respect. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 9:30 A.M.

• Fools Rush In ‘97. Matthew Perry. A New York WASP and a feisty Latina wed when a one-night fling leaves her pregnant. (PG-13) (1:50) ENC: Wed. 12:15 P.M. (CC)

• Footloose ‘84. Kevin Bacon. A hip Chicago teen moves to a Midwestern town where, thanks to a pastor, dancing is outlawed. (PG) (2:45) CMT: Sun. 4 P.M., Mon. 9 P.M., 11:45 P.M.

• For Whom the Bell Tolls ‘43. Gary Cooper. An American mercenary vows to help loyalists destroy a strategically located bridge during the Spanish Civil War. (NR) (3:00) TCM: Mon. 8 P.M.

• Forget Paris ‘95. Billy Crystal. Friends at a restaurant recall the romance of a yuppie couple who met in Paris four years before. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Thu. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman ‘43. Lon Chaney Jr. Tormented werewolf Larry Talbot calls on Dr. Frankenstein and finds his monster instead. (NR) (1:45) AMC: Wed. 4:15 A.M. (CC)

• Frat Party ‘09. Randy Wayne. On the eve of his wedding, a young man throws one last bash, which spirals out of control. (R) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 1 A.M., Sat. 4 A.M. (CC)

• Freaky Friday ‘03. Jamie Lee Curtis. Two fortune cookies cause an engaged psychotherapist and her teenage daughter to magically exchange bodies. (PG) (2:00) ABCFAM: Sun. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Freedom Writers ‘07. Hilary Swank. A Los Angeles teacher inspires a class of at-risk students to believe in themselves. (PG-13) (2:30) TBS: Fri. 1:40 A.M.

• Friendly Fire ‘79. Carol Burnett. Activist Peg Mullen and her husband seek the truth about their son’s death in Vietnam. (NR) (2:30) TMC: Mon. 8:30 A.M.

• From Hell ‘01. Johnny Depp. A Scotland Yard investigator tries to stop Jack the Ripper from butchering prostitutes in 19th-century London. (R) (2:05) MAX: Fri. 4:10 P.M. (CC)

• From Here to Eternity ‘53. Burt Lancaster. While Japanese attack looms, an Army sergeant, a former boxer and an officer’s wife become entangled with others at a Pearl Harbor base. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Wed. 8 P.M. (CC)

G

• G-Force ‘09. Bill Nighy. Live action/animated. Armed with the latest high-tech spy equipment, a guinea pig and his team of highly trained rodents hold the fate of the world in their diminutive paws. (PG) (1:30) STZ: Thu. 8:30 A.M., 7:20 P.M., Fri. 6:15 A.M. (CC)

• The Garden ‘06. Lance Henriksen. Sinister events plague a recovering alcoholic and his troubled son at a remote ranch. (NR) (1:30) SHO: Thu. 1:30 P.M.

• Garfield’s Fun Fest ‘08. Voices of Frank Welker. Animated. The fat cat faces a serious threat at an annual competition for funniest comic strip. (NR) (2:00) TOON: Sun. 7 P.M., Mon. 9 A.M.

• Get Carter ‘00. Sylvester Stallone. An enraged hit man embarks on a vengeful quest to find the perpetrators responsible for his brother’s death. (R) (1:50) ENC: Sun. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• Get Rich or Die Tryin’ ‘05. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. A drug dealer wants to leave his violent life behind and pursue his dream of becoming a rap artist. (R) (2:30) BET: Fri. 1 A.M.

• Get Smart ‘08. Steve Carell. Agent Maxwell Smart brings enthusiasm and ineptitude to the battle against KAOS. (PG-13) (1:50) MAX: Mon. 2:40 P.M. (CC)

• Ghost ‘90. Patrick Swayze. A slain Manhattan yuppie reaches out to his lover, with a medium as his middlewoman. (PG-13) (2:30) TBS: Sun. 9 A.M., 2:30 A.M. (CC)

• Ghouls ‘08. Kristen Renton. A college student learns about her family’s dark secret. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 1 A.M. (CC)

• G.I. Jane ‘97. Demi Moore. A female Navy SEALs recruit completes rigorous training under a tough officer’s command. (R) (2:15) ENC: Mon. 10:45 A.M., 11:35 P.M., Sat. 10:10 P.M. (CC)

• The Girlfriend Experience ‘08. Sasha Grey. A high-priced call girl works on solidifying her economic future while her live-in lover seeks success as a personal trainer. (R) (1:30) SHO: Mon. midnight.

• God Is My Co-Pilot ‘45. Dennis Morgan. Col. Robert L. Scott Jr. becomes a member of Gen. Chennault’s Flying Tigers in World War II. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Fri. 2 P.M. (CC)

• The Golden Compass ‘07. Nicole Kidman. In a parallel world, a girl sets out on an epic quest to save her best friend and other kidnapped children from the magisterium’s evil experiments. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Mon. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• GoldenEye ‘95. Pierce Brosnan. A secret weapon’s theft sends Agent 007 to Russia, where a pretty computer programmer helps him track an ex-cohort believed dead. (PG-13) (2:30) WGN-A: Mon. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Gone Fishin’ ‘97. Joe Pesci. Two lifelong friends have disastrous misadventures after winning a fishing trip to the Everglades. (PG) (2:00) TBS: Thu. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Gooby ‘09. Matthew Knight. A lovable monster helps a lonely boy through a rough patch. (PG) (1:40) TMC: Tue. 6 A.M.

• Good Dick ‘08. Marianna Palka. A creep vies for the attention of a woman who berates him. (R) (1:30) TMC: Tue. 12:35 P.M. (CC)

• Good Luck Chuck ‘07. Dane Cook. After meeting the woman of his dreams, a dentist must find a way to break a curse that causes each of his ex-lovers to find true love with her next boyfriend. (R) (2:00) USA: Sun. 1 P.M. (CC)

• The Goonies ‘85. Sean Astin. Coastal Oregon kids follow the treasure map of pirate One-Eyed Willie past his deadly traps to gold. (PG) (2:30) ABCFAM: Thu. 7:30 P.M., Sat. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Grand Theft Parsons ‘03. Johnny Knoxville. Roadie Phil Kaufman embarks on a quest to cremate the stolen remains of his longtime friend, musician Gram Parsons. (PG-13) (1:40) TMC: Wed. 4:35 P.M., midnight.

• Grease ‘78. John Travolta. Nice Sandy and greaser Danny try to be like each other in their 1950s high school. (PG) (2:30) AMC: Mon. 8 P.M., 12:30 A.M. (CC)

• The Great Debaters ‘07. Denzel Washington. In 1930s Texas, Mel Tolson inspires students at a predominately black college to form a debate team and strive for the national championship. (PG-13) (2:10) TMC: Mon. 5:50 P.M., Sat. 7:35 A.M., 4:40 P.M. (CC)

• The Great Escape ‘63. Steve McQueen. Allied soldiers dig a tunnel out of a Nazi prison camp, pocketfuls of dirt at a time. (NR) (3:00) TCM: Fri. 10:15 P.M. (CC)

• Greedy ‘94. Michael J. Fox. Rival heirs send a nephew to save their claim to the scrap-metal fortune of an uncle who makes them nervous. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Fri. 6 A.M. (CC)

• Gregory’s Girl ‘82. Gordon John Sinclair. A goofy Scottish teenager has a crush on his pretty soccer teammate. (PG) (1:30) TMC: Mon. 7 A.M. (CC)

• The Grudge 2 ‘06. Amber Tamblyn. A young woman encounters a terrible curse while searching for her missing sister in Tokyo. (PG-13) (2:00) FX: Thu. 10 A.M.

• The Gun Runners ‘58. Audie Murphy. A boat captain in Key West, Fla., joins a gunrunner’s plot to arm Cuban rebels. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 2:15 A.M.

• The Gunfighter ‘50. Gregory Peck. Upstarts challenge the fastest gun in the West, a haunted man trying to escape his reputation. (NR) (2:00) AMC: Sat. 11 A.M., 4:30 A.M.

H

• Hallowed Ground ‘07. Jaimie Alexander. A young woman becomes stranded in a town where the rebirth of a fanatical preacher leads to evil. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 11 A.M.

• The Hangover ‘09. Bradley Cooper. After a wild stag party in Las Vegas, three hazy groomsmen must find their missing friend and get him back to Los Angeles in time for his wedding. (R) (1:45) HBO: Sun. 1:35 A.M., Wed. midnight, Thu. 8 P.M., 4:15 A.M. (CC)

• Happy Feet ‘06. Voices of Elijah Wood. Animated. Born without the ability to sing, a young emperor penguin expresses himself and hopes to attract a mate through his amazing dancing talent. (PG) (2:30) ABCFAM: Sun. 11:30 A.M. (CC)

• Hard Cash ‘02. Christian Slater. A corrupt FBI agent recruits a paroled thief and his crew to help rob a riverboat casino. (R) (1:40) TMC: Mon. 1:05 A.M., Fri. 2:45 A.M.

• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ‘05. Daniel Radcliffe. Signs of Voldemort’s return emerge as Harry’s friends help him prepare for a tournament with Europe’s best student wizards. (PG-13) (3:30) ABCFAM: Sat. 7:30 P.M. (CC)

• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ‘04. Daniel Radcliffe. The young wizard and his friends confront Sirius Black, a fugitive with ties to Harry’s past. (PG) (3:00) ABCFAM: Fri. 8 P.M., Sat. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Hart’s War ‘02. Bruce Willis. A conniving colonel oversees the murder trial of a black airman in a Nazi prisoner-of-war camp. (R) (2:15) SHO: Sun. 1:45 P.M.

• Haunted Gold ‘32. John Wayne. A two-fisted cowboy uncovers the mystery surrounding an abandoned gold mine and a mysterious phantom. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 6 A.M.

• He Was a Quiet Man ‘07. Christian Slater. A frustrated office worker becomes a reluctant hero after saving a woman’s life. (NR) (1:35) SHO: Fri. 4:55 P.M.

• Heat ‘95. Al Pacino. A wily bank robber planning retirement leaves scant clues for a Los Angeles detective with family problems. (R) (3:00) TNT: Fri. 11:15 P.M., Sat. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Heavenly Body ‘43. Hedy Lamarr. The neglected wife of an astronomer turns to astrology and is told she will meet a handsome stranger. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Tue. 4:45 P.M.

• Held Up ‘00. Jamie Foxx. Yuppie Alex stops for gas at a remote convenience store, gets dumped by his fiancee and becomes a hostage during a robbery. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Wed. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Henry Poole Is Here ‘08. Luke Wilson. After learning that he has only a short time to live, a man undergoes a miraculous transformation. (PG) (1:40) STZ: Fri. 11:25 A.M. (CC)

• Her Minor Thing ‘04. Estella Warren. Despite having a boyfriend, a 25-year-old virgin develops feelings for a sensitive artist. (PG-13) (1:45) SHO: Sat. 5:30 A.M.

• He’s Just Not That Into You ‘09. Ben Affleck. Friends and lovers try to navigate their way through the complexities of modern relationships, sometimes misconstruing the true intentions of the opposite sex. (PG-13) (2:15) HBO: Sun. 2:30 P.M., Thu. 5:45 P.M. (CC)

• Hitman ‘07. Timothy Olyphant. An assassin’s growing attachment to a traumatized young woman poses a threat to his life, as great as that of the Interpol and Russian agents on his trail. (R) (2:00) FX: Fri. 9 P.M., Sat. 4 P.M.

• Hoffa ‘92. Jack Nicholson. Teamsters union boss Jimmy Hoffa makes mob deals, organizes a bitter strike, faces powerful public figures and finally, disappears without a trace. (R) (2:25) MAX: Mon. 10:35 A.M. (CC)

• Holiday Heart ‘00. Ving Rhames. A drag queen mourning the loss of his lover takes in a drug addict and her daughter. (R) (2:00) BET: Thu. 9 P.M., Fri. 1 P.M.

• Hollywood Homicide ‘03. Harrison Ford. A veteran Los Angeles detective and his partner investigate the slaying of a rap group. (PG-13) (2:00) STZ: Sun. 8:45 A.M., 5:20 P.M., 12:10 A.M., Fri. 12:50 A.M., Sat. 1 P.M. (CC)

• Home ‘08. Marcia Gay Harden. Trapped in a crumbling marriage, a cancer survivor considers buying a house that reminds her of her childhood home. (PG-13) (1:25) TMC: Wed. 10:15 A.M., 5:15 A.M.

• Home Alone ‘90. Macaulay Culkin. Accidentally left by his Paris-bound family, an 8-year-old makes mincemeat of two burglars in the house. (PG) (1:45) MAX: Sat. 8:15 P.M. (CC)

• A Home at the End of the World ‘04. Colin Farrell. A man moves to New York and falls in love with the roommate of his homosexual friend. (R) (1:40) HBO: Sat. 4:30 A.M. (CC)

• Hook ‘91. Dustin Hoffman. Aided by Tinker Bell, a corporate lawyer turns into Peter Pan to rescue his children from Captain Hook. (PG) (2:30) ENC: Thu. 8 A.M. (CC)

• Hostel ‘06. Jay Hernandez. Backpackers find that their decision to stay at a Slovakian hostel is a gruesome mistake. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 11 P.M. (CC)

• Hostel Part II ‘07. Lauren German. Three American women traveling abroad take a weekend excursion and become pawns in a grisly game designed to entertain privileged deviants. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 9 P.M. (CC)

• The House Bunny ‘08. Anna Faris. An exiled Playboy bunny tries to help socially clueless sorority sisters attract pledges and keep their house by teaching them about makeup and men. (PG-13) (1:45) STZ: Tue. 12:45 A.M., Wed. 8:30 A.M., 8:20 P.M. (CC)

• House of the Dead 2 ‘05. Emmanuelle Vaugier. Special forces battle a ravenous zombie horde on a college campus while searching for a special blood sample from which a cure can be created. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Housesitter ‘92. Steve Martin. An architect has a girlfriend who won’t move into his house and a dizzy woman who won’t move out. (PG) (1:45) ENC: Tue. 6:15 P.M. (CC)

• How About You ‘07. Hayley Atwell. Left in charge of four cantankerous residents at a nursing home at Christmastime, a young woman must overcome her inexperience in the position. (NR) (1:35) TMC: Thu. noon (CC)

• How High ‘01. Method Man. Two stoners get into Harvard University after magic marijuana enables them to ace their tests. (R) (1:35) STZ: Thu. 3:35 P.M., 2:50 A.M. (CC)

• How Stella Got Her Groove Back ‘98. Angela Bassett. A 40ish San Francisco stockbroker has a fling with a 20-year-old while vacationing in Jamaica. (R) (2:30) E!: Mon. 8 A.M., 4 P.M.

• How to Eat Fried Worms ‘06. Thomas Cavanagh. Bravado lands an 11-year-old boy in a predicament at a new school when he accepts the challenge of a bully to eat 10 worms in a single day. (PG) (2:00) ABCFAM: Sat. 7 A.M. (CC)

• The Hunted ‘03. Tommy Lee Jones. Aided by the FBI, a retired combat-trainer searches for a former student who is killing civilians in Oregon. (R) (2:00) AMC: Thu. 10 P.M., Fri. 4 P.M.

I

• I Am Sam ‘01. Sean Penn. A man with the mental capacity of a child hires a lawyer to regain custody of his daughter. (PG-13) (2:15) STZ: Tue. 4:20 A.M., Wed. 4:20 P.M. (CC)

• I See You.com ‘06. Beau Bridges. A teenager uses hidden cameras to secretly broadcast his family’s antics over the Internet. (NR) (1:35) STZ: Fri. 7:45 A.M. (CC)

• I Sell the Dead ‘08. Dominic Monaghan. A condemned grave robber tells his tale to a priest while awaiting execution. (NR) (1:25) TMC: Tue. 3:40 P.M.

• Ice Age ‘02. Voices of Ray Romano. Animated. A woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger and a sloth find a human baby and try to reunite him with his tribe. (PG) (2:00) FX: Wed. 10:30 A.M.

• Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs ‘09. Voices of Ray Romano. Animated. Manny, Diego and the rest of the gang must rescue Sid from an underground world after Sid steals some dinosaur eggs. (PG) (1:45) HBO: Sun. 10 A.M., Thu. 6:45 A.M., 4 P.M. (CC)

• Ice Spiders ‘07. Patrick Muldoon. Giant mutated spiders terrorize members of an Olympic ski team after the monsters escape from a government lab. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 5 P.M., 1 A.M. (CC)

• Igor ‘08. Voices of John Cusack. Animated. A hunchbacked lab assistant seizes a chance to become an evil scientist by creating a monster of his own to enter in the kingdom’s annual science fair. (PG) (1:30) SHO: Sun. 10 A.M., Wed. 7 A.M., 6:30 P.M., Sat. 6 A.M., 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• I’m Not Rappaport ‘96. Walter Matthau. While one elderly New Yorker faces a daughter’s incompetence charge, another is forced into retirement. (PG-13) (2:20) STZ: Mon. 6:10 A.M. (CC)

• Impostor ‘01. Gary Sinise. In the year 2079 a federal agent relentlessly pursues a weapons designer suspected of being a deadly clone. (PG-13) (1:35) TMC: Sun. 10:55 A.M.

• In Cold Blood ‘67. Robert Blake. Two ex-convicts are tried for the savage killing of a farm family in 1959 Kansas. (R) (2:30) TCM: Sun. 2 P.M. (CC)

• In God We Trust ‘80. Marty Feldman. An innocent monk falls in with a TV evangelist when his efforts to raise money for his monastery lead him to Hollywood. (PG) (1:40) MAX: Wed. 5:20 A.M. (CC)

• In Harm’s Way ‘65. John Wayne. A Navy officer is assigned to retake Japanese-held islands. (3:00) TCM: Sat. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• The In-Laws ‘03. Michael Douglas. Days before his son’s wedding, a globe-trotting CIA agent entangles his future in-law in a series of adventures. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Wed. 11:15 A.M. (CC)

• In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale ‘07. Jason Statham. As war looms in an idyllic kingdom, a man sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge their murdered son. (NR) (2:30) SYFY: Sun. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Incident at Oglala ‘92. Voice of Robert Redford. Examines the case against Sioux Indian Leonard Peltier, who was allegedly framed for the 1975 deaths of two FBI agents. (PG) (2:00) TCM: Thu. 11 P.M.

• The Incredible Hulk ‘08. Edward Norton. As Bruce Banner seeks a cure for his affliction, a powerful enemy arises. (PG-13) (2:00) MAX: Sun. 10 P.M., Fri. 2:15 P.M. (CC)

• The Incredible Mrs. Ritchie ‘03. Gena Rowlands. A troubled teenager takes a job as a handyman for a widow who believes her husband’s spirit lives in her garden. (PG-13) (1:45) TMC: Tue. 7:40 A.M.

• Inkheart ‘09. Brendan Fraser. A man with the ability to bring storybook characters to life accidentally summons one of the most-evil beings in literature. (PG) (1:50) MAX: Wed. 3 P.M. (CC)

• The Innocents ‘61. Deborah Kerr. A Victorian governess fears a boy and girl have been possessed by a dead couple. (NR) (1:40) MAX: Sun. 5:50 A.M. (CC)

• The International ‘09. Clive Owen. An Interpol agent and a New York prosecutor join forces to shut down a powerful bank’s funding of terrorism. (R) (2:02) STZ: Fri. 6:25 P.M., 2:50 A.M., Sat. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Into the Storm ‘09. Brendan Gleeson. From 1940-1945, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill leads his country against Nazi aggression. (NR) (1:45) HBO: Fri. 1:45 P.M. (CC)

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• Jaws ‘75. Roy Scheider. A New England police chief, a shark hunter and a scientist have a showdown with a huge white shark. (PG) (2:10) ENC: Tue. 12:50 P.M., 11:20 P.M. (CC)

• Jaws III ‘83. Dennis Quaid. An engineer and a marine biologist face a mother white shark at a Florida sea park. (PG) (1:40) ENC: Sun. 8:50 A.M. (CC)

• Jeepers Creepers ‘01. Gina Philips. A cloaked figure terrorizes two siblings after they discover mutilated bodies in a country drainpipe. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 7 P.M. (CC)

• The Jerk ‘79. Steve Martin. A simpleton leaves his foster family, acquires a girlfriend and invents slip-proof eyeglasses. (R) (1:35) ENC: Tue. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Jett Jackson: The Movie ‘01. Lee Thompson Young. An unusual accident sends a teenager and his television alter ego into each other’s realities. (1:40) DIS: Fri. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Joe Somebody ‘01. Tim Allen. A man takes lessons from a martial-arts expert after a bully humiliates him in front of his daughter. (PG) (1:40) MAX: Sun. 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• Johnny O’Clock ‘47. Dick Powell. A sophisticated gambler becomes precariously involved with outlaws and a woman. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 6:30 P.M.

• Joy Fielding’s The Other Woman ‘08. Josie Bissett. A sexy young student tells a woman that she is going to steal her husband. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Joy Ride ‘01. Steve Zahn. A trucker terrorizes a collegian, his brother and a young woman after being the victim of a practical joke. (R) (1:40) MAX: Sun. 2 A.M. (CC)

• Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead ‘08. Nicki Aycox. Young travelers become the target of a psycho after they unknowingly take his car. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 5 P.M. (CC)

• Jurassic Park ‘93. Sam Neill. An entrepreneur invites scientists, a mathematics theorist and others to his jungle theme-park featuring dinosaurs regenerated from DNA. (PG-13) (2:15) HBO: Tue. 7:15 A.M., Fri. 5:30 P.M. (CC)

• Just Friends ‘05. Ryan Reynolds. A music executive tries to woo his high-school crush while keeping his suspicious ex-girlfriend at bay. (PG-13) (2:00) TBS: Sun. 11:30 A.M.

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• The Karate Kid ‘84. Ralph Macchio. A New Jersey teen moves to California, meets bullies and learns karate from a handyman, Mr. Miyagi. (PG) (2:10) ENC: Wed. 5:50 P.M., Sat. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Karla ‘06. Laura Prepon. Paul Bernardo and his wife, Karla, commit rape, torture and murder. (R) (2:00) LIFE: Sun. 4 P.M. (CC)

• Kate & Leopold ‘01. Meg Ryan. A Manhattan woman falls in love with the 19th-century Duke of Albany who has stepped through a time portal. (PG-13) (2:00) ENC: Sun. 6:50 A.M. (CC)

• Kaw ‘07. Sean Patrick Flanery. A sheriff and surviving townspeople barricade themselves in a diner after aggressive ravens launch a deadly attack. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Mon. 8 A.M.

• Keith ‘08. Elisabeth Harnois. Natalie thinks she has life figured out ??? until she meets a guy. (PG-13) (1:35) SHO: Fri. 8:25 A.M. (CC)

• A Kid for Two Farthings ‘56. Diana Dors. A boy’s belief that the one-horned goat he bought is a unicorn touches the lives of skeptical friends and family. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Sun. 8 P.M.

• The Killing Room ‘09. Nick Cannon. A scientist subjects four unwitting volunteers to torturous experiments. (R) (1:35) TMC: Mon. 12:35 P.M.

• King Arthur ‘04. Clive Owen. Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table embark on a rescue mission as Saxon hordes prepare to invade. (NR) (2:30) SYFY: Sun. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• King Rat ‘65. George Segal. An American POW in Singapore tries to improve his conditions through shady dealings with the camp’s guards. (NR) (2:30) TCM: Fri. 4 A.M.

• King’s Ransom ‘05. Anthony Anderson. An obnoxious businessman arranges his own kidnapping to foil his wife’s impending divorce settlement. (PG-13) (2:00) TBS: Sat. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Kiss of the Dragon ‘01. Jet Li. A Chinese intelligence officer on assignment in Paris becomes involved in an international conspiracy. (R) (1:40) MAX: Sat. 2:05 A.M. (CC)

• Knocked Up ‘07. Seth Rogen. A rising journalist and an irresponsible slacker ponder their future after a boozy one-night stand results in a pregnancy. (R) (2:30) E!: Sun. 1 P.M., 5:30 P.M.

• K-PAX ‘01. Kevin Spacey. A psychiatrist tries to determine how best to help a patient who convincingly claims to be from a distant galaxy. (PG-13) (2:05) STZ: Tue. 10:40 P.M., Sat. 12:35 A.M. (CC)

• Kung Fu Hustle ‘04. Stephen Chow. An aspiring hoodlum gets a chance to prove his abilities when gang members hire him to spring a powerful master from an asylum. (R) (2:08) SPIKE: Mon. 8 P.M.

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• The Ladies Man ‘00. Tim Meadows. A late-night radio host and self-described Casanova searches for a lost love when he receives an unsigned letter boasting of her wealth. (R) (1:30) SHO: Mon. 1:30 A.M.

• Laid to Rest ‘09. Bobbi Sue Luther. A girl awakes in a casket in a funeral parlor and must evade a serial killer to survive the night. (R) (1:30) TMC: Sat. 10:30 P.M., 1:30 A.M. (CC)

• Lake City ‘08. Sissy Spacek. On the run, a young man goes to his childhood home, the one place on Earth he does not want to be. (R) (1:35) TMC: Sun. 7:35 A.M., Wed. 11:40 A.M. (CC)

• Lakeview Terrace ‘08. Samuel L. Jackson. A police officer, the self-proclaimed watchdog of his neighborhood, becomes increasingly hostile toward the interracial couple next door. (PG-13) (2:00) ENC: Wed. 6:30 A.M., 2:05 P.M., 9:45 P.M. (CC)

• Lakota Woman: Siege at Wounded Knee ‘94. Irene Bedard. In 1973, American Indian activists occupy the site of an 1890 massacre. Based on Mary Crow Dog’s autobiography. (2:00) TCM: Tue. 9:30 P.M.

• The Land Before Time ‘88. Voices of Gabriel Damon. Animated. An orphaned dinosaur and his new friends face a danger-laden journey to a beautiful, food-rich valley. (G) (1:15) HBO: Tue. 6 A.M. (CC)

• Land of the Lost ‘09. Will Ferrell. A time-space vortex sucks a scientific has-been and his companions into an alternate dimension populated by dinosaurs and painfully slow creatures called Sleestaks. (PG-13) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 10:45 A.M., 9:30 P.M., Thu. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life ‘03. Angelina Jolie. A globe-trotter must find Pandora’s box before a maniacal scientist can harness its power for world domination. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Fri. 10:30 P.M. (CC)

• Larger Than Life ‘96. Bill Murray. A motivational speaker inherits an elephant and takes it cross-country to buyers in San Diego. (PG) (1:35) MAX: Mon. 5:15 A.M. (CC)

• The Last Castle ‘01. Robert Redford. A court-martialed general leads a revolt against a corrupt warden in a military prison. (R) (2:15) HBO: Sat. 2:15 A.M. (CC)

• Last Holiday ‘06. Queen Latifah. Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell off all her possessions and live it up at a posh European hotel. (PG-13) (2:15) TBS: Sat. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Last Holiday ‘06. Queen Latifah. Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell off all her possessions and live it up at a posh European hotel. (PG-13) (2:15) TBS: Sat. 10:15 P.M.

• The Last House on the Left ‘09. Tony Goldwyn. After their daughter is assaulted and left for dead, a couple take revenge on the assailants, who have taken shelter at the couple’s house. (R) (1:55) HBO: Fri. midnight (CC)

• The Last of the Mohicans ‘20. Wallace Beery. Silent. James Fenimore Cooper’s Hawkeye, Uncas and Chingachgook help the British in the French and Indian War. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 3:45 A.M.

• The Last Samurai ‘03. Tom Cruise. In the 1870s a Westerner is caught in the middle of a battle between Japan’s emperor and the samurai. (R) (3:00) FX: Sun. 10:30 A.M.

• Last Stop for Paul ‘06. Neil Mandt. Two friends travel around the world spreading a friend’s ashes. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Thu. 10 A.M.

• The Last Warrior ‘89. Gary Graham. The fate of a GI and a novice nun comes down to an island showdown with a Japanese marine. (R) (1:35) TMC: Fri. 6:25 P.M.

• The Lawnmower Man ‘92. Jeff Fahey. A scientist uses a mentally impaired man to test virtual reality, the computer simulation of the real. (R) (3:00) SYFY: Thu. 3 A.M. (CC)

• The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ‘03. Sean Connery. Allan Quatermain, Capt. Nemo, Dorian Gray, Dr. Jekyll, Tom Sawyer and others unite to stop a mad bomber. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Tue. 5:30 P.M., Wed. noon (CC)

• A League of Their Own ‘92. Tom Hanks. The All-American Girls Professional Baseball League begins in 1943 with a major-league has-been as a manager. (PG) (2:15) ENC: Tue. 7 A.M., Sat. 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• Leatherheads ‘08. George Clooney. A 1920s football star tries to boost his sagging sport while vying for a newswoman’s affections. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Sun. 6 A.M. (CC)

• The Legend of Zorro ‘05. Antonio Banderas. The masked swordsman and his wife fight a European count plotting to block California’s statehood. (PG) (2:30) TNT: Sun. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Legends of the Fall ‘94. Brad Pitt. A retired cavalry officer and his sons live on a pre-World War I Montana cattle ranch. (R) (2:30) E!: Sat. 8 P.M.

• Let There Be Light ‘46. Walter Huston. Filmmaker John Huston captures the pain of emotionally disturbed soldiers coming home from World War II. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Sat. 3:30 A.M.

• Let’s Go to Prison ‘06. Dax Shepard. After learning that the son of the judge who put him away is in jail, an ex-con gets himself sent back to prison so he can make the man’s life miserable. (R) (2:00) COMEDY: Sat. 10:30 A.M., 5 P.M. (CC)

• The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou ‘04. Bill Murray. A journalist follows an oceanographer, his son and his crew as they hunt the shark that ate the man’s partner. (R) (2:30) COMEDY: Tue. 11 A.M. (CC)

• The Life of Jimmy Dolan ‘33. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. A boxer flees after accidentally killing a reporter; an old detective tracks him down. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Wed. 12:30 P.M.

• Like Mother, Like Daughter ‘07. Michelle Stafford. A woman investigates the disappearance of her daughter, unaware of possible danger lurking nearby. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 5 P.M. (CC)

• Linewatch ‘08. Cuba Gooding Jr. A border agent’s past as a gang member comes back to haunt him years later. (R) (2:00) BET: Wed. 1 A.M.

• Little Black Book ‘04. Brittany Murphy. To learn more about his past, a young woman interviews three of her boyfriend’s former sweethearts. (PG-13) (2:30) FX: Fri. 10:30 A.M.

• Little Nicky ‘00. Adam Sandler. The youngest son of Satan must go to New York City and bring back his brothers, whose absence is wreaking havoc in hell. (PG-13) (1:35) STZ: Thu. 1:15 A.M., Fri. 4:50 P.M. (CC)

• The Little Rascals ‘94. Travis Tedford. For wooing Darla, Alfalfa has a falling out with Spanky and the all-boys clubhouse gang. (PG) (2:00) ABCFAM: Sun. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• Live Free or Die Hard ‘07. Bruce Willis. John McClane grapples with a villain who plans to shut down the United States by attacking the country’s vulnerable computer infrastructure. (PG-13) (3:30) FX: Sat. 6 P.M.

• Lonely Street ‘09. Jay Mohr. A private investigator becomes the prime suspect in the murder of a snoopy reporter. (R) (1:35) TMC: Sat. 1:30 P.M., 3 A.M.

• The Longest Yard ‘05. Adam Sandler. At a Texas penitentiary, jailed NFL veterans train their fellow inmates for a football game against the guards. (PG-13) (2:15) CMT: Wed. 9 P.M., 11:15 P.M.

• Look Who’s Talking ‘89. John Travolta. An unwed accountant gives birth to Mikey, a hip baby who provides sarcastic commentary on events. (PG-13) (2:00) WE: Fri. 12:30 P.M.

• Losing Isaiah ‘95. Jessica Lange. An ex-crack addict fights for custody of her son adopted by a social worker and her husband. (R) (2:00) BET: Mon. 1 P.M.

• The Lost Patrol ‘34. Victor McLaglen. Unseen Arab snipers hunt World War I British cavalrymen in the desert. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Fri. 6 A.M.

• Love & Sex ‘00. Famke Janssen. While writing a story on modern dating, a journalist reflects on her own bad choices stemming from her fear of commitment. (1:25) TMC: Sun. 5:10 P.M. (CC)

• A Low Down Dirty Shame ‘94. Keenen Ivory Wayans. A former Los Angeles policeman helps a DEA agent on a case similar to the one that ended his career. (R) (2:00) BET: Thu. 1 A.M., Fri. 8 P.M.

• Lucas ‘86. Corey Haim. School bullies pick on a scrawny 14-year-old in front of his 16-year-old summer dream-girl. (PG-13) (1:45) ENC: Thu. 12:15 P.M. (CC)

• The Lucky Ones ‘08. Rachel McAdams. Three soldiers bond during an unexpected road trip across the country. (R) (2:00) TMC: Wed. 10 P.M.

• Lymelife ‘08. Alec Baldwin. An 1970s New Jersey a teen longs to date a pretty friend while the marriage of his dysfunctional parents crumbles and his brother prepares to go to war. (R) (1:35) TMC: Tue. 2:05 P.M., 11:15 P.M.

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• Made of Honor ‘08. Patrick Dempsey. A commitment-shy guy realizes he is in love with his best friend and accepts a spot in her bridal party in the hope of stopping her wedding. (PG-13) (1:50) ENC: Wed. 4 P.M., Thu. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• Madea’s Family Reunion ‘06. Tyler Perry. A Southern matriarch deals with a host of personal and family issues while planning her clan’s upcoming reunion. (PG-13) (2:10) TBS: Fri. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Madhouse ‘90. John Larroquette. Obnoxious relatives and neighbors wear out their welcome in the new home of a yuppie couple. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Wed. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• Magma: Volcanic Disaster ‘06. Xander Berkeley. A volcano expert realizes that his doomsday predictions are coming true when a series of eruptions threatens the Earth. (PG-13) (2:00) SYFY: Wed. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Major League ‘89. Tom Berenger. Lackluster baseball players hear their Cleveland team’s new owner is counting on them to lose. (R) (2:30) COMEDY: Sat. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• Mamma Mia! ‘08. Meryl Streep. Hoping to meet her real father and have him walk her down the aisle, a bride secretly invites three men from her mother’s past to come to the wedding. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Tue. 2 P.M., Fri. 11:30 A.M. (CC)

• The Man From Monterey ‘33. John Wayne. An Army captain foils a Spanish land-grant swindle. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 2 P.M.

• Man on Fire ‘04. Denzel Washington. Hired as a bodyguard for a young girl, a retired CIA agent takes revenge on her kidnappers in Mexico City. (R) (3:00) FX: Sat. 1 P.M.

• Marley & Me ‘08. Owen Wilson. Newlyweds John and Jenny Grogan adopt a playful puppy named Marley, who soon grows into an incorrigible handful. (PG) (2:00) MAX: Wed. 1 P.M. (CC)

• Married Life ‘07. Chris Cooper. A man plans to kill his wife because he has fallen in love with someone else, but he is unaware that his best friend also has designs on the same woman. (PG-13) (1:35) ENC: Thu. 5:30 A.M. (CC)

• Marty ‘55. Ernest Borgnine. A shy, mother-dominated Bronx butcher finds his soul mate in a lonely schoolteacher. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Sun. 10 A.M. (CC)

• Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein ‘94. Robert De Niro. Dr. Frankenstein creates a soulless monster from cadavers and tries to hide it from his beloved. (R) (2:05) STZ: Wed. 1:50 A.M. (CC)

• The Mask of Zorro ‘98. Antonio Banderas. The fabled avenger trains an uncouth protege to drive a Spanish tyrant out of California once and for all. (PG-13) (3:00) FX: Sun. 7:30 A.M.

• Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World ‘03. Russell Crowe. In 1805 a British captain and his crew endure hardships while trying to prevent a French ship from reaching the Pacific Ocean. (PG-13) (3:00) AMC: Sun. 4:30 P.M.

• Max Payne ‘08. Mark Wahlberg. A maverick cop faces a supernatural battle when he descends into a dark underworld to find those who killed his family and his partner. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Mon. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Me, Myself & Irene ‘00. Jim Carrey. Nice-guy Charlie and aggressive Hank, the two personalities of a Rhode Island state trooper, fight over the same woman. (R) (2:30) FX: Thu. 5:30 P.M., Fri. 8 A.M.

• Mean Creek ‘04. Rory Culkin. A shy boy, his older brother, and two friends plan to take a bully on a boat trip and maroon him in the wilderness. (R) (2:00) MTV: Sat. 2 P.M.

• Meatballs 4 ‘92. Corey Feldman. A hot-dog water-skier helps a lake-camp owner compete against a woman who wants his land. (R) (1:30) ENC: Tue. 3:20 A.M. (CC)

• Meet Me on Broadway ‘46. Marjorie Reynolds. An ambitious young show producer and his girlfriend decide to stage a benefit musical at a country club. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Mon. 12:30 A.M.

• Meet the Browns ‘08. Tyler Perry. Soon after losing her job, a single mother takes her brood to Georgia for her father’s funeral and meets his uproarious clan for the first time. (PG-13) (1:45) TMC: Fri. 7:20 A.M., 8 P.M.

• Meet the Spartans ‘08. Sean Maguire. King Leonidas and his strapping warriors rise up to defend Sparta from invading Persians, bad punch-lines and celebrity look-alikes. (PG-13) (1:25) MAX: Mon. 9:10 A.M. (CC)

• Men in Black II ‘02. Tommy Lee Jones. Two interstellar agents try to stop an alien disguised as a lingerie model from destroying the world. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Tue. 10:30 A.M., 6:30 P.M. (CC)

• Metro ‘97. Eddie Murphy. A hostage negotiator and a SWAT marksman track a psychotic jewel thief who killed a colleague. (R) (2:00) ENC: Thu. 3:30 P.M. (CC)

• Midnight Movie ‘08. Rebekah Brandes. A vicious killer stalks patrons at a movie theater who gather to watch a cult horror film. (R) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 2:30 A.M.

• Midway ‘76. Charlton Heston. Cracking a Japanese code leads Adm. Nimitz and Navy officers to Yamamoto’s fleet in the Battle of Midway, June 1942. (PG) (2:30) TCM: Sat. 5:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Mighty Ducks ‘92. Emilio Estevez. To get out of trouble, a hotshot lawyer opts for community service coaching rowdies in peewee hockey. (PG) (1:45) ENC: Fri. 7:05 A.M. (CC)

• Militia ‘00. Dean Cain. A federal agent works under cover with a convict to retrieve stolen missiles containing anthrax. (R) (1:35) HBO: Tue. 3:50 A.M. (CC)

• Million Dollar Baby ‘04. Clint Eastwood. A deep bond develops between a cantankerous trainer and the female boxer he reluctantly takes under his wing. (PG-13) (3:00) AMC: Sun. 1:30 P.M. (CC)

• Mini’s First Time ‘06. Alec Baldwin. A sultry teen’s affair with her stepfather has deadly consequences for her mother. (R) (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 7 P.M. (CC)

• Miracle in Lane 2 ‘00. Frankie Muniz. Determined to keep up with his athletic brother, a boy in a wheelchair tries to win a Soap Box Derby trophy. (1:40) DIS: Sat. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Les Miserables ‘35. Fredric March. Victor Hugo’s Jean Valjean steals a loaf of bread and is hounded for life by policeman Javert. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Sun. 4 A.M.

• Les Miserables ‘52. Michael Rennie. Obsessed Inspector Javert hounds Jean Valjean for life after the man steals a loaf of bread for his starving family. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Sun. 5 A.M. (CC)

• Miss March ‘09. Zach Cregger. A young man awakens from a four-year coma and discovers that his virginal high-school sweetheart is now a centerfold model in Playboy magazine. (R) (1:40) HBO: Sun. 4:20 A.M., Fri. 2:50 A.M. (CC)

• Mission: Impossible 2 ‘00. Tom Cruise. IMF agent Ethan Hunt and his team try to stop a former agent from unleashing a deadly, engineered virus. (PG-13) (2:30) FX: Sun. 9 P.M., Mon. 5:30 P.M., Sat. 9:30 P.M.

• Mistrial ‘96. Bill Pullman. A New York homicide detective takes a courtroom hostage after a jury acquits a suspect accused of killing a police officer. (R) (1:35) MAX: Wed. 3:45 A.M. (CC)

• The Mod Squad ‘99. Claire Danes. Three street punks become undercover cops to avoid jail. (R) (1:35) SHO: Wed. 3:25 P.M.

• Molly ‘99. Elisabeth Shue. An autistic woman undergoes experimental surgery which leaves her a genius but with the emotional development of a child. (PG-13) (1:35) TMC: Mon. 11 A.M.

• Money Train ‘95. Wesley Snipes. A New York transit officer fights subway crime with his foster brother and dreams of robbing the train carrying system revenue. (R) (1:55) SHO: Mon. 3:35 P.M.

• Monsters vs. Aliens ‘09. Voices of Reese Witherspoon. Animated. A giant woman, a bug-headed scientist and a gelatinous mass are among the ragtag monsters that must defend Earth from a rampaging alien robot. (PG) (1:35) MAX: Thu. 7 A.M. (CC)

• Moola ‘07. William Mapother. A new business opportunity changes the lives of two best friends who work together. (PG-13) (2:00) SHO: Mon. 10:30 A.M., Thu. 11:30 A.M.

• Mother Carey’s Chickens ‘38. Ruby Keeler. An 1890s widow has two sons, and two daughters in love with the same man. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 9 A.M.

• Moulin Rouge ‘01. Nicole Kidman. In 1890s France a courtesan falls in love with a young writer but strings along a duke who can finance improvements to the night spot. (PG-13) (2:10) MAX: Tue. 6:50 A.M. (CC)

• Mr. Deeds ‘02. Adam Sandler. A television producer tries to get the scoop on a small-town pizzeria owner after he inherits $40 billion. (PG-13) (2:00) ABCFAM: Wed. 8 P.M., Sat. 11 P.M. (CC)

• Mrs. Henderson Presents ‘05. Judi Dench. After the death of her husband, a woman buys a derelict theater and hires an impresario to stage revues. (R) (1:45) MAX: Thu. 5:05 A.M. (CC)

• The Mummy Returns ‘01. Brendan Fraser. Two evil forces believe the 9-year-old son of adventurer Rick O’Connell is the key to the reincarnation of Isis. (PG-13) (2:10) ENC: Fri. 2:10 P.M., 10 P.M., Sat. 10:15 A.M. (CC)

• The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor ‘08. Brendan Fraser. Rick O’Connell and his family fight an ancient emperor bent on world conquest. (PG-13) (2:00) MAX: Fri. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Murder at 1600 ‘97. Wesley Snipes. A homicide detective and a Secret Service agent investigate a secretary’s murder in the White House. (R) (1:50) ENC: Mon. 3:30 A.M., Thu. 1:30 A.M., Fri. 4:20 P.M. (CC)

• Mutant Chronicles ‘08. Thomas Jane. In the 28th century a soldier and a priest lead a platoon deep underground to destroy a machine that is churning out hundreds of bloodthirsty mutants. (R) (2:30) SYFY: Sun. 11 P.M. (CC)

• My Best Friend’s Girl ‘08. Dane Cook. Complications crop up when an unlikable cad dates his best pal’s ex-girlfriend in the pal’s scheme to convince her to go back to him. (R) (1:45) TMC: Sun. 12:15 A.M., Thu. 10 P.M.

• My Cousin Vinny ‘92. Joe Pesci. An inept lawyer tries to free his cousin from a Dixie jail. (R) (2:00) ENC: Thu. 5:30 P.M. (CC)

• My Life in Ruins ‘09. Nia Vardalos. A travel guide gains a new perspective on her life as she leads a ragtag group of tourists through her native Greece. (PG-13) (1:40) MAX: Sat. 10 P.M., 3:45 A.M. (CC)

• My Sister’s Keeper ‘09. Cameron Diaz. A girl who was conceived as a marrow donor for her gravely ill sister goes to court to seek emancipation and prevent further harvesting of her body tissue. (PG-13) (2:00) HBO: Sun. 5:45 P.M., Tue. noon, 9 P.M. (CC)

• Mystery Date ‘91. Ethan Hawke. A shy guy takes his dream-girl on a date in his brother’s ‘59 DeSoto, with corpses in the trunk. (PG-13) (1:40) ENC: Wed. 8:30 A.M. (CC)

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• The Naked Gun ‘88. Leslie Nielsen. A blundering Los Angeles detective and his boss foil a plan to assassinate Queen Elizabeth. (PG-13) (2:00) CMT: Sat. 10 P.M.

• Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult ‘94. Leslie Nielsen. Ed coaxes his “Police Squad” pal Frank out of retirement to thwart a terrorist bombing. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Thu. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Nanny McPhee ‘05. Emma Thompson. A widower hires a mysterious woman who uses magic to control his seven unruly children. (PG) (2:00) ABCFAM: Sun. 2 P.M. (CC)

• Nanook of the North ‘22. Nanook. Silent. An Eskimo and his family visit a trading post, spear fish, catch a walrus, and build an igloo. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Thu. 8 P.M.

• Natalee Holloway ‘09. Tracy Pollan. Beth Twitty embarks on a quest for truth and justice when her teenage daughter, Natalee Holloway, disappears in Aruba. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Thu. 9 P.M. (CC)

• National Lampoon’s Animal House ‘78. John Belushi. Delta House members try to save their repulsive fraternity. (R) (1:50) MAX: Mon. 12:20 A.M. (CC)

• National Treasure: Book of Secrets ‘07. Nicolas Cage. A page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth implicates Ben Gates’ great-great grandfather as a major conspirator in the assassination of President Lincoln. (PG) (2:30) USA: Thu. 8:30 P.M., Fri. 12:30 P.M. (CC)

• Naturally Native ‘98. Valerie Red-Horse. Three American Indian sisters try to market homegrown cosmetics based on tribal remedies. (PG-13) (2:00) TCM: Tue. 1:15 A.M.

• The Negotiator ‘98. Samuel L. Jackson. A framed police negotiator takes hostages and demands to speak with a counterpart from another precinct. (R) (3:30) CMT: Fri. 10 P.M.

• Never Back Down ‘08. Djimon Hounsou. A rebellious teenager learns to fight from a veteran of mixed martial arts after joining an underground fight club. (PG-13) (1:55) ENC: Mon. 7:15 A.M., 4:20 P.M. (CC)

• Never Been Kissed ‘99. Drew Barrymore. A former high-school nerd, now a reporter, gets a second chance when she goes under cover for a story on cool teens. (PG-13) (2:30) WE: Fri. 2:30 P.M.

• New Best Friend ‘02. Mia Kirshner. A plain collegian tries to join a privileged woman’s clique while the two of them work on a class assignment. (R) (1:35) MAX: Thu. 1:35 A.M. (CC)

• New York City Serenade ‘07. Freddie Prinze Jr. Two struggling childhood friends try to figure out life. (R) (1:45) SHO: Thu. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Nights in Rodanthe ‘08. Richard Gere. Two troubled souls find comfort and a life-changing romance during a stormy weekend at a North Carolina inn. (PG-13) (1:40) MAX: Fri. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• Nim’s Island ‘08. Abigail Breslin. A fainthearted adventure writer joins forces with a courageous youngster to save the girl’s island home and find her missing father. (PG) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 6:15 P.M., Fri. 8 A.M. (CC)

• Nine 1/2 Weeks ‘86. Mickey Rourke. Sexual obsession draws a woman into an unusual love affair. (R) (2:00) ENC: Wed. 3:40 A.M. (CC)

• Nine Girls ‘44. Ann Harding. Members of a sorority try to unravel the mystery behind the murder of a sister at a log cabin. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 12:30 P.M.

• Nobel Son ‘07. Alan Rickman. The son of an arrogant, prize-winning scientist is kidnapped by a young man who claims to be the scientist’s illegitimate offspring. (R) (1:55) SHO: Tue. 4 P.M.

• Norma Rae ‘79. Sally Field. A union organizer from up North recruits a divorced cotton-mill worker down South. (PG) (2:30) AMC: Tue. 9:30 A.M.

• Not Another Teen Movie ‘01. Chyler Leigh. A high-school quarterback bets a rival he can transform an unpopular student into a prom queen. (R) (1:30) MAX: Sat. 9 A.M. (CC)

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• Observe and Report ‘09. Seth Rogen. A mall security officer tries to impress his dream girl and prove his worthiness for a coveted spot at the police academy by collaring a flasher. (R) (1:30) HBO: Thu. 11:50 P.M. (CC)

• Office Space ‘99. Ron Livingston. A white-collar worker rebels against corporate drudgery. (R) (2:00) COMEDY: Sun. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• The Old Man and the Sea ‘58. Spencer Tracy. Hemingway’s Cuban fisherman relives his youth as he fights marlin. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 11 P.M.

• Old School ‘03. Luke Wilson. Three friends try to recapture the fun of their college years by starting their own off-campus fraternity. (R) (2:00) TNT: Sun. 6:30 P.M. (CC)

• 100 Feet ‘08. Famke Janssen. Killed by his wife in self-defense, a violent man returns as a ghost to seek revenge against her. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 1 P.M. (CC)

• Open Graves ‘09. Eliza Dushku. American students in Spain start to die when they play a board game. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Orphan ‘09. Vera Farmiga. A series of alarming events leads a woman to believe that something evil lurks behind the angelic face of her recently adopted daughter. (R) (2:05) MAX: Sat. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Osama ‘03. Marina Golbahari. Desperate for money, an Afghan widow dresses her daughter like a boy so she can work for a shopkeeper. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Mon. 9 A.M., Thu. 8:30 A.M.

• The Outlaw Josey Wales ‘76. Clint Eastwood. A Missouri farmer hunts down the Union soldiers who killed his family and left him for dead. (PG) (3:00) AMC: Sat. 8 P.M., 1:30 A.M. (CC)

• Over Her Dead Body ‘08. Eva Longoria Parker. A jealous ghost, who died on her wedding day, tries to sabotage her groom’s new romance with a psychic. (PG-13) (1:35) MAX: Thu. 6:30 P.M. (CC)

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• The Pacifier ‘05. Vin Diesel. A Navy SEAL faces the ultimate test when he must care for five children and protect them from their father’s enemies. (PG) (2:00) ABCFAM: Mon. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Pale Rider ‘85. Clint Eastwood. Gold miners are saved from corporate villains by the miracle of a mysterious preacher on a pale horse. (R) (2:30) AMC: Sun. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Pale Rider ‘85. Clint Eastwood. Gold miners are saved from corporate villains by the miracle of a mysterious preacher on a pale horse. (R) (2:30) AMC: Sat. 5:30 P.M., 11 P.M.

• Pandorum ‘09. Dennis Quaid. Two astronauts discover a terrifying reality after awaking disoriented, aboard a seemingly abandoned spaceship. (R) (1:50) STZ: Wed. 2:30 P.M., 11 P.M., Thu. 10 A.M., Sat. 2:40 A.M. (CC)

• Paratroop Command ‘59. Richard Bakalyan. A mission in the mine fields of Northern Italy gives a guilt-ridden paratrooper the opportunity to prove his mettle. (NR) (1:30) AMC: Tue. 4:30 A.M.

• The Parent Trap ‘98. Lindsay Lohan. An 11-year-old meets her California twin, and they plot to reunite their divorced parents. (PG) (3:00) ABCFAM: Sun. 6 P.M. (CC)

• Parenthood ‘89. Steve Martin. A middle-class man, his wife, his father and a divorcee try to be good parents. (PG-13) (2:05) ENC: Wed. 10:10 A.M. (CC)

• Paul Blart: Mall Cop ‘09. Kevin James. When crooks shut down a suburban New Jersey shopping mall, a security officer must find his inner policeman to save the day. (PG) (1:35) STZ: Sun. 12:25 P.M., Fri. 1:20 P.M., 8:27 P.M., Sat. 6:45 A.M. (CC)

• A Perfect Murder ‘98. Michael Douglas. A commodities broker persuades his wife’s lover to kill her in order to inherit her trust fund. (R) (2:27) AMC: Sun. 2:03 A.M., Mon. 5:30 P.M.

• Phone Booth ‘02. Colin Farrell. A sniper traps a New York publicist in a phone booth and threatens to kill him if he hangs up. (R) (1:45) AMC: Wed. 10 P.M., Thu. 6:15 P.M.

• Pineapple Express ‘08. Seth Rogen. A stoner who witnessed a murder flees with his dealer when a drug lord and crooked cop trace a rare strain of marijuana back to them. (R) (2:00) ENC: Fri. 8 P.M., 3:20 A.M., Sat. 4:15 P.M. (CC)

• Pleasure Party ‘08. Molinee Green. Con artists find passion between scams. (NR) (1:30) TMC: Sun. 2 A.M. (CC)

• Police Academy ‘84. Steve Guttenberg. The new mayor’s policy puts badges on misfits: one has a police record; another does vocal sound effects. (R) (2:30) CMT: Tue. 9 P.M., 11:30 P.M., Sat. midnight.

• Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment ‘85. Steve Guttenberg. The zany graduates attempt to stop rampant acts of vandalism when they take to the meanest beat on the streets. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Wed. 3 P.M., Thu. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Poliwood ‘09. Filmmaker Barry Levinson follows celebrities to the 2008 Democratic and Republican National Conventions. (NR) (1:30) SHO: Tue. 4 A.M.

• Poltergeist ‘82. Craig T. Nelson. A suburban family’s lives are disrupted by vengeful ghosts. (PG) (2:30) AMC: Fri. 3:30 A.M. (CC)

• Porky’s ‘81. Dan Monahan. Teen and buddies get even with bar owner in ’50s Florida. (R) (1:40) ENC: Fri. 12:10 A.M. (CC)

• Post Impact ‘03. Dean Cain. Three years after a meteor devastates Earth, a man leads an expedition to Germany to find a device that could help or destroy mankind. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 1 P.M., 3 A.M.

• The Pregnancy Pact ‘10. Nancy Travis. A woman returns to her hometown to investigate the sudden increase in teenage pregnancies. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Tue. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Premonition ‘07. Sandra Bullock. A woman battles time and destiny to save her family after experiencing a precognitive vision of her husband’s death. (PG-13) (2:00) FX: Fri. 7 P.M., Sat. 8:30 A.M.

• The Prestige ‘06. Hugh Jackman. After an illusion goes tragically wrong, two 19th-century magicians engage in a bitter and potentially deadly rivalry. (PG-13) (3:00) USA: Fri. 9:30 A.M., 1 A.M. (CC)

• Pride of the Marines ‘45. John Garfield. Blinded on Guadalcanal, war hero Al Schmid comes home unsure about his wife and future. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Sat. 11 P.M.

• Prizzi’s Honor ‘85. Jack Nicholson. A Brooklyn hit man marries a West Coast woman with secrets that challenge his loyalties. (R) (2:10) MAX: Sat. 5:20 A.M. (CC)

• The Professional ‘94. Jean Reno. An Italian hit man in New York risks his life to protect an orphan girl who captures his heart. (R) (1:50) TMC: Mon. 9:40 P.M., Thu. 3:35 A.M.

• The Promotion ‘08. Seann William Scott. Personality quirks and inadequacies come to the surface when two men vie for the top job in a grocery chain’s new store. (R) (1:30) MAX: Fri. 3:50 A.M. (CC)

• The Proposal ‘09. Sandra Bullock. Facing deportation back to Canada, a high-powered book editor pretends she is engaged to her assistant, whom she’s tormented for years. (PG-13) (1:50) STZ: Sun. 2:15 A.M., Mon. 12:20 P.M., 9 P.M., Fri. 4:50 A.M., Sat. 3 P.M., 10:45 P.M. (CC)

• Pterodactyl ‘05. Coolio. Commandos battle a prehistoric threat to mankind that hatched within a long-dormant volcano. (1:00) SYFY: Mon. 2 P.M. (CC)

Q

• Quantum of Solace ‘08. Daniel Craig. James Bond’s hunt for those responsible for Vesper Lynd’s death leads him to a ruthless businessman who is plotting to seize control of a valuable resource. (PG-13) (2:00) SHO: Tue. 12:30 P.M., midnight, Sat. 4 P.M., 10:45 P.M.

• Quarantine ‘08. Jennifer Carpenter. Trapped in an apartment building, a reporter and her cameraman record the outbreak of a horrifying disease that turns humans into voracious cannibals. (R) (1:30) ENC: Sun. 8 P.M., 3:30 A.M., Mon. 1 P.M. (CC)

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• Race to Witch Mountain ‘09. Dwayne Johnson. A Las Vegas taxi driver unexpectedly becomes the guardian of two runaways who possess paranormal powers. (PG) (1:45) STZ: Wed. 10:15 A.M., 6:35 P.M., 3:55 A.M. (CC)

• Raising Helen ‘04. Kate Hudson. A career woman must alter her lifestyle after becoming the guardian of her late sister’s three children. (PG-13) (2:30) WE: Fri. 10 A.M.

• Rambo ‘08. Sylvester Stallone. John Rambo calls upon his long-buried but lethal skills to rescue a missionary and her comrades from the Burmese army. (R) (1:35) TMC: Mon. 11:30 P.M.

• Rambo III ‘88. Sylvester Stallone. Loner Rambo leaves a Buddhist monastery to free his Green Beret mentor from Soviets in Afghanistan. (R) (1:45) ENC: Wed. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Randy Rides Alone ‘34. John Wayne. A drifter accused of robbery and murder receives unexpected help in his quest to clear his name. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 4 P.M.

• Ratatouille ‘07. Voices of Patton Oswalt. Animated. A Parisian rat who enjoys fine food lives beneath a famous restaurant and longs to be a great chef. (G) (2:00) DIS: Mon. 8 P.M., Tue. noon (CC)

• Redbelt ‘08. Chiwetel Ejiofor. A martial artist finds his integrity on the line after he saves an action star from attack and takes a job in the film industry. (R) (1:45) ENC: Tue. 11:05 A.M. (CC)

• Reign of Fire ‘02. Christian Bale. A hotshot American and a firefighter unite to fight a horde of dragons in post-apocalyptic London. (PG-13) (1:50) ENC: Tue. 9:15 A.M.

• Reign of Fire ‘02. Christian Bale. A hotshot American and a firefighter unite to fight a horde of dragons in post-apocalyptic London. (PG-13) (1:45) ENC: Tue. 9:35 P.M. (CC)

• Religulous ‘08. Comic Bill Maher visits Jerusalem, Vatican City and other religious destinations to question believers about their different faiths. (R) (1:55) SHO: Mon. 5:30 P.M., 5:30 A.M., Thu. 8 P.M.

• Remember the Daze ‘07. Amber Heard. In 1999 some teenagers find a variety of ways to stave off boredom on their last day of school. (R) (1:45) SHO: Sun. 4 A.M.

• Renegades ‘46. Evelyn Keyes. The youngest son of a notorious bandit family tries to go straight. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 5 P.M.

• Requiem for a Dream ‘00. Ellen Burstyn. A middle-aged woman gets an invitation to be on her favorite game show, as her son starts selling cocaine and becomes an addict. (NR) (1:45) SHO: Thu. 3:50 A.M.

• Resident Evil ‘02. Milla Jovovich. Commandos infiltrate a research facility after a deadly virus turns the entire staff into ravenous zombies. (R) (1:40) MAX: Sat. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• The Return of a Man Called Horse ‘76. Richard Harris. A nobleman rallies his Dakota friends against their captors. (PG) (2:15) TCM: Thu. 3:45 A.M.

• Ride Him, Cowboy ‘32. John Wayne. A cowboy tries to tame a wild horse believed to have been responsible for the death of a rancher. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 7 A.M.

• Riding in Cars With Boys ‘01. Drew Barrymore. From 1961-1986, a woman experiences life as a teenage mother, divorcee and aspiring writer. (PG-13) (2:15) MAX: Sun. 6:30 A.M. (CC)

• Riding the Bullet ‘04. Jonathan Jackson. A troubled Maine art student meets sinister drivers while hitchhiking to see his mother in the hospital. (R) (2:00) USA: Tue. 2 A.M. (CC)

• Righteous Kill ‘08. Robert De Niro. Two veteran detectives hunt a vigilante whose crimes resemble those of a killer they put behind bars long ago. (R) (1:45) ENC: Mon. 2:35 P.M., 1:45 A.M., Fri. 10:50 A.M., 6:15 P.M. (CC)

• Ripple Effect ‘07. Philippe Caland. A hit-and-run driver visits his victim, now in a wheelchair. (R) (1:25) TMC: Tue. 5:05 P.M., Fri. 9:05 A.M.

• The Rising of the Moon ‘57. Cyril Cusack. Introduced by Tyrone Power. A trilogy of different stories examines Ireland and its people. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Sun. 10 P.M.

• Rising Sun ‘93. Sean Connery. Los Angeles police detectives tie a skyscraper homicide to Washington politics and corporate Japan. (R) (2:10) ENC: Sun. 11:40 P.M. (CC)

• Road House ‘89. Patrick Swayze. Hired to tame a rowdy Missouri bar, a Ph.D. bouncer romances a doctor and tames the whole town. (R) (2:45) CMT: Thu. 9 P.M., 11:45 P.M.

• The Road Warrior ‘81. Mel Gibson. Loner lawman Mad Max fights barbarian bikers for gasoline in the wasteland of the future. (R) (1:45) ENC: Thu. 11:45 P.M. (CC)

• The Rock ‘96. Sean Connery. A one-time escaped convict leads Navy SEALs onto Alcatraz to thwart a renegade colonel’s rebels who threaten the area with warheads. (R) (2:25) TMC: Sun. 8:05 P.M., Thu. 11:45 P.M.

• The Rocker ‘08. Rainn Wilson. Twenty years after his band mates gave him the boot, a failed drummer gets a second shot at fame as a member of his teenage nephew’s band. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Tue. 1:45 P.M. (CC)

• RocknRolla ‘08. Gerard Butler. A street-wise hustler is one of many London criminals who are scrambling to take advantage of a Russian mobster’s crooked land deal. (R) (2:00) MAX: Sun. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• Roger Corman’s Frankenstein Unbound ‘90. John Hurt. A mad scientist from the future meets the monster, his maker and their literary creator. (R) (1:25) HBO: Thu. 2:50 A.M. (CC)

• Rogue ‘07. Radha Mitchell. A cynical American travel writer is among the stranded riverboat passengers who become fodder for a monstrous crocodile. (R) (1:35) HBO: Wed. 1:45 A.M. (CC)

• Role Models ‘08. Seann William Scott. Forced to join a mentorship program, two irresponsible men must help a pair of impressionable boys navigate the troubled waters of youth. (R) (1:45) HBO: Fri. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Roustabout ‘64. Elvis Presley. A singing motorcycle bum joins a woman’s carnival and romances her foreman’s daughter. (PG) (2:00) TCM: Sun. noon (CC)

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• Sagebrush Trail ‘33. John Wayne. A man is falsely imprisoned on a murder charge, then escapes to join an outlaw gang and unmask the real killer. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 10:15 A.M.

• Sahara ‘05. Matthew McConaughey. A treasure hunter and his sidekick join forces with a doctor to search for a Confederate ship in Africa. (PG-13) (2:30) TNT: Sun. 11:30 A.M. (CC)

• St. Elmo’s Fire ‘85. Rob Lowe. A sax player, a party girl, a writer and other aimless friends drift after graduating from college. (R) (1:50) ENC: Sat. 6:10 P.M. (CC)

• The Sandlot ‘93. Tom Guiry. The best baseball player in the neighborhood helps a new kid with his clumsy ball-handling. (PG) (2:30) ABCFAM: Sat. 11:30 A.M. (CC)

• Sasquatch Mountain ‘06. Lance Henriksen. Police and a group of thieves work together to escape from a legendary monster. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 3 P.M. (CC)

• Saturday’s Children ‘40. John Garfield. A woman and her husband learn the relative unimportance of money from her father. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Thu. 12:45 P.M.

• Saturday’s Heroes ‘37. Van Heflin. A young gridiron hero who does his best to restore integrity to football is rewarded with the position of head coach. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Thu. 2:30 P.M.

• Save the Last Dance ‘01. Julia Stiles. A white teenager moves to Chicago after her mother’s death and falls for a black student who shares her love of dance. (PG-13) (2:00) TMC: Wed. 8 P.M.

• Saw V ‘08. Tobin Bell. As the apparently last disciple of Jigsaw, Hoffman goes on the hunt to protect his secret. (R) (1:35) TMC: Tue. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Say It Isn’t So ‘01. Chris Klein. A man searching for his birth mother discovers that his girlfriend might be his sister. (R) (1:40) MAX: Wed. 4:50 P.M. (CC)

• Scary Movie 3 ‘03. Anna Faris. An anchorwoman investigates rumors about UFOs and a videotape that leads to deaths. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Thu. 8 P.M., 2:30 A.M. (CC)

• The Score ‘01. Robert De Niro. A master thief agrees to work with a volatile partner for one last heist before he retires. (R) (2:05) SHO: Tue. 5:55 P.M.

• Scream ‘96. Neve Campbell. A psycho killer targets a past victim’s daughter, while a tabloid TV reporter homes in on his identity. (R) (1:55) STZ: Thu. 5:25 P.M. (CC)

• Screwed ‘00. Norm Macdonald. An overworked, underpaid chauffeur kidnaps his boss’s dog and holds it for a $5,000,000 ransom. (PG-13) (2:00) COMEDY: Wed. 11 A.M. (CC)

• Second String ‘02. Jon Voight. The coach for the Buffalo Bills must use backup players after his offensive squad comes down with food poisoning. (2:00) TBS: Mon. 3 A.M. (CC)

• The Secret Invasion ‘64. Stewart Granger. International criminals are promised pardons if they will participate in the infiltration of Nazi territory. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Sat. 4:45 A.M.

• The Secret Lives of Second Wives ‘07. Andrea Roth. Newly married Lynn’s idyllic life turns upside down when her husband’s former wife returns. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 1 P.M. (CC)

• The Secret of My Success ‘87. Michael J. Fox. A would-be yuppie from Kansas sorts mail in Manhattan but pretends to be a corporate executive. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Thu. 10:45 A.M. (CC)

• See Here, Private Hargrove ‘44. Robert Walker. A clumsy cub reporter becomes a clumsy Army private in boot camp. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Wed. 12:45 A.M. (CC)

• See No Evil ‘06. Kane. A maniac terrorizes a group of delinquents cleaning a hotel for community service. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 1 A.M. (CC)

• Semi-Pro ‘08. Will Ferrell. In 1976 a singer uses the profits from his only hit to buy a basketball team that is in danger of going under when the ABA and the NBA merge. (R) (1:30) MAX: Wed. 2:15 A.M. (CC)

• Sergeant York ‘41. Gary Cooper. A Tennessean becomes one of World War I’s most decorated heroes by single-handedly capturing a German position. (NR) (2:30) TCM: Fri. 5:30 P.M. (CC)

• Sergio ‘09. The life and work of Sergio Vieira de Mello. (NR) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 4:30 P.M., midnight (CC)

• Seven Pounds ‘08. Will Smith. A man with a fateful secret sets out to redeem himself by changing the lives of seven strangers, including a woman with whom he falls in love. (PG-13) (2:05) STZ: Mon. 8:30 A.M., 6:50 P.M. (CC)

• 17 Again ‘09. Zac Efron. A 37-year-old gets the chance to correct the mistakes of his past when he is miraculously transformed into a teenager. (PG-13) (1:45) MAX: Sun. 6:30 P.M., Fri. 6:15 P.M. (CC)

• Sex and the City ‘08. Sarah Jessica Parker. Carrie Bradshaw and her gal pals find new adventures and surprises while they enjoy companionship, cupcakes and Cosmopolitan in New York. (R) (2:30) HBO: Wed. 8:30 P.M. (CC)

• Sex Games Cancun ‘06. A compilation features episodes from the erotic series. (1:25) MAX: Wed. 11:40 P.M. (CC)

• Sex, Lies & Obsession ‘01. Harry Hamlin. The mother of two sons must either help her husband through his addiction to sex or break up their family. (2:00) LIFE: Sat. 11 A.M. (CC)

• The Shaft ‘01. James Marshall. A mechanic and a reporter investigate deaths related to an elevator in a New York building. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Shallow Ground ‘05. Timothy V. Murphy. A blood-soaked teenager leads a backwoods lawman to the heart of a gruesome murder mystery. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 11 P.M. (CC)

• She Went to the Races ‘45. James Craig. A professor with a betting system rivals a socialite for a racehorse owner. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 6:30 P.M.

• The Shining Hour ‘38. Joan Crawford. A nightclub chorus girl marries into a rich family, and some of its members resent her. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 10:30 A.M. (CC)

• Shooter ‘07. Mark Wahlberg. Reluctantly pressed into service again, a former military sniper plots revenge against his powerful foes after being betrayed and wounded. (R) (2:15) TNT: Fri. 9 P.M., Sat. 6 P.M. (CC)

• Short Circuit 2 ‘88. Fisher Stevens. Harmless military robot No. 5 goes to the city, where people see him as a marketable novelty item. (PG) (1:55) ENC: Sat. 6:45 A.M. (CC)

• Shorts ‘09. Jon Cryer. An 11-year-old boy and his friends must save the day when townspeople get their hands on a rainbow-colored rock that grants the wishes of all who hold it. (PG) (1:30) HBO: Thu. 9 A.M. (CC)

• Shrek ‘01. Voices of Mike Myers. Animated. In order to save his home, a monster with a donkey makes a deal with a mean lord to rescue a beautiful princess. (PG) (1:30) HBO: Wed. 3 P.M., Sat. 2:30 P.M. (CC)

• Signs ‘02. Mel Gibson. With the help of his brother, a Pennsylvanian investigates the appearance of 500-foot-diameter circles in his crop fields. (PG-13) (1:50) STZ: Tue. 10:30 A.M., 5:30 P.M., 2:30 A.M., Thu. 4:25 A.M., Fri. 3 P.M., 11 P.M. (CC)

• The Silent Enemy ‘30. Spotted Elk. An American Indian chief passes on the Ojibwa heritage to his son while trying to help his people fight hunger. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Thu. 2:15 A.M.

• Sister Act ‘92. Whoopi Goldberg. A Reno lounge singer on the run plays nun and shows a San Francisco convent’s chorus how to rock. (PG) (2:00) BET: Mon. 8 P.M., 1 A.M.

• Sixteen Candles ‘84. Molly Ringwald. A girl turning 16 likes another girl’s guy and feels nobody cares about her birthday. (PG) (2:00) AMC: Mon. 10:30 P.M., 3 A.M.

• The Sixth Sense ‘99. Bruce Willis. A child psychologist counsels a boy who can see dead people. (PG-13) (1:50) STZ: Sun. 3:30 P.M. (CC)

• Skeleton Man ‘04. Michael Rooker. Commandos battle the evil incarnation of an American Indian who massacred his own tribe four centuries ago. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Thu. 10 A.M. (CC)

• Sleeping With the Enemy ‘91. Julia Roberts. The battered wife of a yuppie neat-freak fakes her death at sea and flees from Cape Cod to Iowa. (R) (1:40) MAX: Thu. 8:05 P.M. (CC)

• Smart People ‘08. Dennis Quaid. Recently widowed, a professor tries to juggle a new love and an unexpected visit from his adoptive brother. (R) (2:00) TBS: Sun. 7 A.M.

• Smoke Signals ‘98. Adam Beach. A geeky American Indian travels from Idaho to Phoenix with a stoic companion whose father died. (PG-13) (1:45) TCM: Tue. 11:30 P.M.

• Snake King ‘05. Stephen Baldwin. Scientists encounter a deadly, multiheaded serpent as they search for an Amazonian tribe that guards the fountain of youth. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Mon. noon (CC)

• Solar Attack ‘06. Louis Gossett Jr. Scientists investigate the destruction of a manned flight to study the atmosphere. (PG) (2:00) SYFY: Wed. 10 A.M. (CC)

• The Soldier and the Lady ‘37. Anton Walbrook. Jules Verne’s hero Michael Strogoff and his friend get the czar’s message to troops in Siberia. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 7:30 A.M.

• Something’s Gotta Give ‘03. Jack Nicholson. A music executive falls for the mother of his young girlfriend after having a heart attack in her home. (PG-13) (2:30) TBS: Sun. 5:30 P.M., 11:47 P.M. (CC)

• Somewhere in Sonora ‘33. John Wayne. An outlaw in Mexico tries to save a youth from a life of crime. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Wed. 11:15 A.M.

• Son-in-Law ‘93. Pauly Shore. A college freshman comes home to her family’s South Dakota farm, with her goofy California boyfriend. (PG-13) (2:15) CMT: Sun. 6:45 P.M.

• Sorority Boys ‘02. Barry Watson. Accused of stealing by other fraternity members, three chauvinists pose as women while trying to find the real culprits. (R) (1:40) ENC: Sun. 4:20 P.M., 1:50 A.M. (CC)

• Soul Men ‘08. Samuel L. Jackson. Estranged singers reunite for a tribute concert. (R) (1:40) TMC: Fri. 10 P.M.

• Soul Power ‘08. James Brown, B.B. King, the Spinners, Miriam Makeba and others perform in concert in the days leading up to the 1974 boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman in Zaire. (PG-13) (1:40) STZ: Tue. 3:50 P.M. (CC)

• A Sound of Thunder ‘05. Edward Burns. A scientist and an inventor must save mankind when a time traveler inadvertently alters the history of evolution. (PG-13) (1:55) USA: Mon. 2:05 A.M. (CC)

• Sounder ‘72. Cicely Tyson. A sharecropper’s wife keeps the family together after he goes to prison in 1930s Louisiana. (G) (2:00) TCM: Sun. 6 P.M. (CC)

• South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut ‘99. Voices of Trey Parker. Animated. Kyle, Stan and Cartman orchestrate a resistance to an imminent war between Canada and the United States. (R) (1:45) COMEDY: Sat. 3:15 A.M. (CC)

• The Special Relationship ‘10. Michael Sheen. British Prime Minister Tony Blair forges a loyal friendship with President Bill Clinton. (NR) (1:45) HBO: Sat. 9 P.M., 12:35 A.M. (CC)

• Species: The Awakening ‘07. Helena Mattsson. With help from her uncle, a woman who is a half-human, half-alien clone searches for the scientist who created her. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Tue. midnight (CC)

• Speed ‘94. Keanu Reeves. A SWAT team ace must keep the speed of a Santa Monica bus above 50 mph, or a madman’s bomb will explode. (R) (2:00) ENC: Sun. 11 A.M., 6 P.M. (CC)

• Spider-Man ‘02. Tobey Maguire. Peter Parker uses his superhuman powers to battle his archenemy, the Green Goblin. (PG-13) (2:00) MAX: Wed. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Spinning Into Butter ‘07. Sarah Jessica Parker. A dean deals with a racial incident at a Vermont college. (R) (1:30) SHO: Sun. 7:30 A.M.

• The Spirit ‘08. Gabriel Macht. A ghostlike crime fighter faces a villain known as the Octopus, whose aim is to destroy Central City while searching for the secret to immortality. (PG-13) (2:00) SHO: Sun. 6 P.M., Sat. 10:30 A.M., 9 P.M.

• Spring Breakdown ‘09. Parker Posey. Three 30-something gal pals shake up their tragically unsophisticated lives with a vacation to a South Padre Island hot spot for the college crowd. (R) (2:00) LIFE: Mon. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Spy Game ‘01. Robert Redford. A CIA agent tries to rescue his one-time protege who awaits execution in a Chinese prison. (R) (2:10) ENC: Sun. 9:30 P.M., Wed. 11:40 P.M. (CC)

• Spy Kids ‘01. Antonio Banderas. When a technical genius kidnaps retired spies, only their children can save them. (PG) (1:30) SHO: Tue. 11 A.M., 5:30 A.M., Sat. 7:30 A.M.

• The Squaw Man ‘14. Dustin Farnum. Silent. A Briton takes the blame for another’s crime and flees to Wyoming, where he marries an American Indian woman. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 8 P.M.

• SS Doomtrooper ‘06. Corin Nemic. During World War II, U.S. forces battle soldiers engineered by the Nazis to create the ultimate evil army. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Tue. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Stagecoach ‘39. John Wayne. An outlaw, a prostitute, a drunken doctor and assorted others go through Indian country. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Wed. 6 P.M. (CC)

• Stalag 17 ‘53. William Holden. In a Nazi prison barracks, other POWs believe that a cynical American sergeant is an informer. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Fri. 8 P.M. (CC)

• The Star Packer ‘34. John Wayne. An incognito U.S. marshal learns his girlfriend’s uncle is an outlaw. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 5 P.M.

• Star Trek: Nemesis ‘02. Patrick Stewart. The crew of the Enterprise must prevent a replica of Capt. Picard from overtaking Earth. (PG-13) (2:30) AMC: Wed. 2:30 P.M., 12:47 A.M. (CC)

• Star Wars: Episode I ??? The Phantom Menace ‘99. Liam Neeson. As an enemy threatens the peaceful Galactic Republic, young Anakin Skywalker comes under the tutelage of Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Jedi master. (PG) (3:00) SPIKE: Sat. 3 P.M.

• Star Wars: Episode III ??? Revenge of the Sith ‘05. Ewan McGregor. Seduced by the dark side, Anakin Skywalker turns against his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi and becomes Darth Vader. (PG-13) (3:00) SPIKE: Sat. 10 P.M.

• Star Wars IV: A New Hope ‘77. Mark Hamill. Robots and other allies help a youth and a space jockey rescue a rebel princess and battle dark forces bent on intergalactic rule. (PG) (3:00) SPIKE: Sat. 1 A.M.

• Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi ‘83. Mark Hamill. Luke Skywalker, now an experienced Jedi knight, tries to discover Darth Vader’s identity. (PG) (3:07) SPIKE: Sun. 3:41 P.M.

• Steel Magnolias ‘89. Sally Field. Based on the play about six Southern women who become close friends despite their eccentricities and complicated lives. (PG) (2:00) ENC: Mon. 9:35 P.M., Sat. 4 A.M. (CC)

• Step Brothers ‘08. Will Ferrell. Two lazy, immature men become rivals when the marriage of one’s mother and the other’s father forces them to live as siblings in the same house. (R) (1:50) STZ: Mon. 12:40 A.M., Tue. 8:50 A.M., 7:20 P.M. (CC)

• The Stepfather ‘09. Dylan Walsh. A young man becomes increasingly suspicious that his mother’s new lover is concealing an evil side. (PG-13) (1:45) STZ: Sat. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Steppin: The Movie ‘09. Darius McCrary. College students prepare for a step-dance competition that features a money prize. (PG-13) (2:00) BET: Wed. 9 P.M., Thu. 1 P.M.

• The Sterile Cuckoo ‘69. Liza Minnelli. A coed acts kooky to hide her insecurity, especially with a shy freshman. (PG) (1:50) TMC: Thu. 6:45 A.M.

• Storm ‘99. Luke Perry. A general with a device that controls weather recruits a meteorologist to direct a hurricane toward Mexico. (PG-13) (2:00) SYFY: Wed. 3 A.M. (CC)

• The Story of Adele ‘75. Isabelle Adjani. Rejected by the British officer she loves, Victor Hugo’s daughter self-destructs. (PG) (1:45) TCM: Sun. 2:15 A.M.

• The Story of Us ‘99. Bruce Willis. While their children are away at summer camp, a married couple try to remember why they fell in love. (R) (2:00) WGN-A: Sat. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Strange Affair ‘44. Allyn Joslyn. The creator of a comic strip helps police investigate the sudden death of a fundraiser. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 2 P.M.

• Student Seduction ‘03. Elizabeth Berkley. A happily married teacher is falsely accused of having a sexual relationship with a student who accosted her. (2:00) LIFE: Fri. 9 P.M. (CC)

• The Substitute 4: Failure Is Not an Option ‘00. Treat Williams. An undercover policeman must infiltrate a military school’s faculty to cease the actions of white supremacists. (R) (1:40) HBO: Wed. 4:20 A.M. (CC)

• Sunday in New York ‘63. Cliff Robertson. An innocent upstater visits her airline-pilot brother and meets a stranger she tries to seduce. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Thu. 5:30 P.M. (CC)

• Sunday Punch ‘42. William Lundigan. A Swedish boxer and a medical student become rivals for an ingenue. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Thu. 3:45 P.M.

• Superbad ‘07. Jonah Hill. Separation anxiety poses a problem for two co-dependent high-school seniors who hope to score booze and babes at a party. (R) (2:30) FX: Thu. 8 P.M., 10:30 P.M.

• Swimfan ‘02. Jesse Bradford. A new student at a high school obsesses over a swimming champion who does not return her advances. (PG-13) (2:00) FX: Thu. 8 A.M.

• Swordfish ‘01. John Travolta. A spy working for the CIA forces a computer hacker, who was recently released from prison, to help steal unused government funds. (R) (1:45) MAX: Mon. 6:15 P.M. (CC)

T

• Take ‘07. Minnie Driver. Several years after their lives met in tragedy, a single mother and a gambling addict must reconcile with the past. (R) (1:45) TMC: Fri. 10:30 A.M., 4:45 P.M.

• The Take ‘07. John Leguizamo. An armored-truck driver searches for the man who shot him. (R) (1:40) ENC: Thu. 3:20 A.M. (CC)

• Taken ‘08. Liam Neeson. A former spy puts his extensive training to the test when he must rescue his kidnapped daughter from sex-slave traffickers. (PG-13) (1:45) HBO: Wed. 4:45 P.M., Fri. 9:45 A.M. (CC)

• Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby ‘06. Will Ferrell. NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby faces his greatest challenge ever when French Formula One driver Jean Girard roars onto the scene. (PG-13) (2:00) TNT: Sun. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• Taps ‘81. Timothy Hutton. Inspired by a general, a cadet leads an armed defense of his military school to keep it from becoming condos. (PG) (3:00) AMC: Thu. 2:15 A.M., Fri. 10:45 A.M.

• Telegraph Trail ‘33. John Wayne. A government agent is assigned to ensure the safe transport of supplies to telegraph-line workers in the West. (NR) (1:00) TCM: Wed. 3 P.M.

• Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here ‘69. Robert Redford. A deputy sheriff hunts an Indian for murder in 1909 California. (PG) (2:15) AMC: Sat. 3:15 P.M.

• Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ‘03. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A cyborg from the future must protect John Connor from a superior model sent to kill him. (R) (2:30) FX: Sun. 1:30 P.M.

• Terminator Salvation ‘09. Christian Bale. As the machines prepare for a final attack, John Connor and a mysterious stranger delve into the heart of Skynet and uncover a terrible secret involving the annihilation of mankind. (PG-13) (1:55) MAX: Thu. 12:45 P.M., 10 P.M. (CC)

• Terror in the Family ‘96. Joanna Kerns. A “perfect” family must confront long-ignored problems when a teenager’s rebelliousness turns to violence. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sun. 10 A.M. (CC)

• There’s Something About a Soldier ‘43. Tom Neal. Five young men train to become military officers. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Mon. 3:30 P.M.

• They Were Expendable ‘45. Robert Montgomery. Heroic PT boat captains fight Japanese ships in the World War II Philippines. (NR) (2:30) TCM: Wed. 10:15 P.M. (CC)

• A Thin Line Between Love and Hate ‘96. Martin Lawrence. A wealthy woman stalks the womanizing club owner who seduced, then betrayed, her. (R) (1:50) ENC: Sat. 2:10 A.M. (CC)

• Thirteen Days ‘00. Kevin Costner. President John F. Kennedy and members of his staff react to news of a Soviet missile buildup in Cuba. (PG-13) (2:30) STZ: Wed. noon, Sat. 8:25 A.M., 4:50 P.M. (CC)

• 30 Days of Night ‘07. Josh Hartnett. A lawman and an ever-shrinking band of survivors must fend off hungry vampires who have come to feed during an Alaskan town’s annual month of darkness. (R) (2:30) FX: Sun. 4 P.M.

• Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo ‘44. Spencer Tracy. Lt. Col. James Doolittle leads B-25s off the USS Hornet’s deck on a 1942 mission to bomb Japan. (NR) (2:30) TCM: Fri. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• This Property Is Condemned ‘66. Natalie Wood. A Mississippi girl falls for an out-of-towner at her mother’s 1930s boardinghouse. (NR) (1:50) TMC: Wed. 8:25 A.M.

• This Side of Heaven ‘34. Lionel Barrymore. Catastrophe looms when a man is caught embezzling by his eldest daughter’s future husband. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 6 A.M.

• Thousands Cheer ‘43. Kathryn Grayson. A colonel’s daughter loves a private and puts on an Army show with Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland and the MGM stars. (NR) (2:15) TCM: Wed. 4 A.M. (CC)

• Three Kings ‘99. George Clooney. Near the end of the Gulf War, soldiers use a map that may lead them to gold that Saddam Hussein stole from Kuwait. (R) (2:30) TNT: Sat. noon (CC)

• Tigerland ‘00. Colin Farrell. A recruit tries to get discharged from infantry training for Vietnam at Fort Lake, La., in 1971. (R) (2:15) AMC: Thu. midnight, Fri. 1:45 P.M.

• To Have and Have Not ‘44. Humphrey Bogart. A boat skipper flirts with a singer and fools Nazis on the island of Martinique. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Mon. 3:45 A.M. (CC)

• To Kill a Mockingbird ‘62. Gregory Peck. A widowed lawyer with two children defends an innocent black man accused of raping a white woman in 1930s Alabama. (NR) (3:00) AMC: Mon. 9:30 A.M. (CC)

• Today We Live ‘33. Joan Crawford. A British woman returns to a former lover when the American pilot she truly desires is apparently killed in battle. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Thu. 6:15 A.M. (CC)

• Tommy Boy ‘95. Chris Farley. A ne’er-do-well auto-parts heir must stop his father’s widow from selling the business. (PG-13) (1:40) MAX: Fri. 6:50 A.M. (CC)

• Tomorrow Never Dies ‘97. Pierce Brosnan. James Bond and female agent Wai Lin pursue a megalomaniacal tycoon trying to start World War III. (PG-13) (2:30) WGN-A: Tue. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Tomorrow We Live ‘42. Ricardo Cortez. An ex-convict’s daughter helps him break a criminal mastermind’s hold. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Thu. 8:15 A.M.

• Trail of the Pink Panther ‘82. Peter Sellers. A French TV newswoman interviews friends and foes of the missing Inspector Clouseau. (PG) (1:40) MAX: Mon. 7:30 A.M. (CC)

• Training Day ‘01. Denzel Washington. A rookie cop meets a corrupt Los Angeles narcotics officer who wants to include him in his schemes. (R) (2:05) MAX: Fri. 10 P.M. (CC)

• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ‘09. Shia LaBeouf. When an ancient Decepticon rises for revenge, Sam and Mikaela must figure out the history of the Transformers’ presence on Earth and find a way to save the planet. (PG-13) (2:30) MAX: Tue. 11:15 A.M., 7:30 P.M. (CC)

• Transporter 3 ‘08. Jason Statham. Mob courier Frank Martin and the subject of his assignment, a cynical Ukrainian woman, are fitted with shackles that will explode if they wander too far from his car. (PG-13) (1:45) TMC: Sun. 9:10 A.M., 10:30 P.M., Thu. 8 P.M.

• Trapped ‘02. Charlize Theron. A young anesthesiologist and his wife try to turn the tables on three kidnappers who have their 6-year-old daughter. (R) (2:00) LIFE: Sun. 2 P.M. (CC)

• The Tripper ‘06. Jaime King. A serial killer with a Ronald Reagan obsession has an ax to grind with a group of friends who arrive to attend a weekend concert in the forest. (R) (1:40) TMC: Tue. 2:10 A.M. (CC)

• Tropic Thunder ‘08. Ben Stiller. A pampered actor and his co-stars become part of a real war in a Southeast Asian jungle. (R) (1:50) HBO: Sat. 10:45 P.M. (CC)

• Trucker ‘08. Michelle Monaghan. A long-distance hauler is forced to take care of her estranged son when her ex-husband becomes gravely ill. (R) (1:35) SHO: Mon. 7:25 P.M.

• True Crime ‘99. Clint Eastwood. An investigative reporter has only 12 hours to prove a condemned man’s innocence in a robbery/homicide. (R) (2:30) AMC: Sun. 7:30 P.M., Mon. 3 P.M., Fri. 8 P.M.

• True Lies ‘94. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A Washington wife discovers her computer-salesman husband is a spy out to stop nuclear terrorists. (R) (3:00) AMC: Wed. 5 P.M., Thu. 1:15 P.M. (CC)

• 25th Hour ‘02. Edward Norton. The day before he begins a prison sentence, a New York drug dealer spends time with his father and friends. (R) (2:00) FX: Fri. midnight.

• 2 Days in Paris ‘07. Julie Delpy. The differences between a French woman and her American lover become painfully apparent during a brief stop in France to visit her parents. (R) (1:45) TMC: Mon. 4:15 A.M.

• The Two Mr. Kissels ‘08. John Stamos. The murders of real-estate mogul Andrew Kissel and his brother, Robert. (NR) (2:00) LIFE: Sun. 6 P.M. (CC)

U

• The Ugly Truth ‘09. Katherine Heigl. A chauvinist puts a romantically challenged producer through a series of outrageous tests to prove his theories about relationships. (R) (1:40) STZ: Sun. 10:45 A.M., 9 P.M. (CC)

• Unbreakable ‘00. Bruce Willis. The sole survivor of a horrific train crash, questioning his existence, finds counsel in a mysterious stranger. (PG-13) (2:00) WGN-A: Sat. 2 A.M. (CC)

• Uncle P ‘07. Master P. A hip-hop superstar has his hands full while watching his sister’s three children in the suburbs. (PG) (2:00) BET: Tue. 1 P.M.

• Undead or Alive ‘07. Chris Kattan. A cowboy, an Army deserter and a beautiful woman battle a horde of zombies in the Old West. (R) (1:40) SHO: Wed. 1:45 P.M.

• Unfaithful ‘02. Richard Gere. A man becomes increasingly distraught after he discovers his wife is having an affair with a Frenchman. (R) (2:05) MAX: Fri. 12:10 P.M. (CC)

• Unforgiven ‘92. Clint Eastwood. An old gunslinger, his ex-partner and a quick-draw kid go bounty hunting in a town called Big Whiskey. (R) (3:00) AMC: Tue. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Unforgiven ‘92. Clint Eastwood. An old gunslinger, his ex-partner and a quick-draw kid go bounty hunting in a town called Big Whiskey. (R) (3:00) AMC: Tue. 11 P.M.

• The Uninvited ‘09. Elizabeth Banks. A ghost prompts a lethal battle of wills between a man’s new fiancee and his two daughters, one of whom has just returned from a mental ward. (PG-13) (1:30) HBO: Fri. 4 P.M. (CC)

• Up ‘09. Voices of Ed Asner. Animated. A 78-year-old balloon salesman ties thousands of balloons to his house and flies to South America, but discovers too late a young stowaway aboard. (PG) (1:45) STZ: Sun. 7 A.M., 7:20 P.M., Tue. 2:10 P.M., 9 P.M., Wed. 6:50 A.M. (CC)

• Uptown Girls ‘03. Brittany Murphy. Forced to get a job, a freewheeling woman becomes a nanny to the uptight daughter of a New York executive. (PG-13) (2:00) ABCFAM: Sun. 4 P.M. (CC)

V

• Varsity Blues ‘99. James Van Der Beek. A second-string quarterback is propelled to sudden glory. (R) (2:00) TNT: Wed. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Vertical Limit ‘00. Chris O’Donnell. A climber must rescue his sister stranded by an avalanche. (PG-13) (2:30) TBS: Tue. 3 A.M. (CC)

• The Veteran ‘06. Ally Sheedy. A war veteran revisits a troubled past when he meets a former comrade in Vietnam. (NR) (1:30) SHO: Tue. 2:30 P.M., Fri. 1:30 P.M.

• Vicky Cristina Barcelona ‘08. Javier Bardem. Sexual sparks ignite when a hot-tempered woman arrives in the midst of her former lover’s fling with two American tourists. (PG-13) (2:00) SHO: Tue. 8 P.M.

• Village of the Damned ‘95. Christopher Reeve. A doctor battles children who exert deadly mind control over adults in a small Northern California town. (R) (1:40) MAX: Fri. 5:20 A.M. (CC)

W

• W. ‘08. Josh Brolin. George W. Bush transforms himself from a ne’er-do-well son of privilege to president of the United States. (PG-13) (2:15) SHO: Sun. 11:30 A.M., midnight, Wed. 11:30 A.M., Sat. 5:50 P.M. (CC)

• Waist Deep ‘06. Tyrese Gibson. An ex-convict collides with members of a street gang after his car is stolen with his son inside. (R) (2:00) BET: Sat. 11 P.M.

• The War Against Mrs. Hadley ‘42. Edward Arnold. A Washington official courts a society widow clinging to conservatism during World War II. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. 3:15 P.M. (CC)

• Watchmen ‘09. Billy Crudup. After his former colleague is murdered, a masked vigilante uncovers a plot to discredit and destroy the world’s superheroes. (R) (3:10) MAX: Sat. 5:05 P.M. (CC)

• Wednesday’s Child ‘34. Frankie Thomas. An 11-year-old winds up in military school, victim of his parents’ divorce. (NR) (1:15) TCM: Thu. 11:30 A.M.

• What About Bob? ‘91. Bill Murray. A patient follows a pop psychiatrist on his vacation and annoys him while charming his family. (PG) (2:00) COMEDY: Fri. 3 P.M. (CC)

• What’s Love Got to Do With It ‘93. Angela Bassett. Anna Mae Bullock meets singer/songwriter Ike Turner and goes into show business under the stage name Tina. (R) (2:30) VH1: Sat. 7 P.M.

• White Air ‘07. Riley Smith. A trainer encourages a down-and-out snowboarder to prepare for a competition. (PG) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 5:30 A.M.

• Who Is Clark Rockefeller? ‘10. Eric McCormack. German con artist Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter poses as a member of the Rockefeller family. (2:00) LIFE: Sun. 8 P.M. (CC)

• Wild Hogs ‘07. Tim Allen. Looking for adventure, frustrated suburbanites hit the open road and encounter rough-and-tumble bikers. (PG-13) (2:30) FX: Mon. 8 P.M., Tue. 4:30 P.M.

• The Wild One ‘54. Marlon Brando. A motorcycle outlaw in a black leather jacket takes over a town with his gang. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Sun. 4:30 P.M.

• Wimbledon ‘04. Kirsten Dunst. An English tennis player reinvigorates his game after finding romance with an American counterpart. (PG-13) (2:00) TBS: Wed. 3 A.M. (CC)

• Witless Protection ‘08. Larry the Cable Guy. A small-town lawman and the FBI witness that he has in custody grapple with crooked federal agents, quack doctors and Chicago high-society. (PG-13) (1:40) TMC: Thu. 3:05 P.M.

• Wizards of Waverly Place The Movie ‘09. Selena Gomez. A young wizard conjures a spell that puts her family in jeopardy. (1:45) DIS: Wed. 8 P.M., Thu. noon.

• The Woman in Red ‘84. Gene Wilder. A married San Francisco public-relations agent sees an ad-campaign model and becomes obsessed with her. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Thu. 7 A.M. (CC)

• Working Girl ‘88. Melanie Griffith. A spunky Wall Street secretary takes her boss’s place with a merger specialist. (R) (2:00) MAX: Thu. 4:30 P.M. (CC)

• The World Is Not Enough ‘99. Pierce Brosnan. James Bond must protect a murdered industrialist’s daughter. (PG-13) (2:10) TMC: Sat. 9:45 A.M., 6:50 P.M. (CC)

• Wrong Turn ‘03. Desmond Harrington. Three inbred cannibals terrorize a medical student and five campers in a remote area of West Virginia. (R) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 9 P.M. (CC)

• Wrong Turn 2: Dead End ‘07. Erica Leerhsen. Deranged cannibals terrorize a group of contestants competing on a reality TV show in the wilderness of West Virginia. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Sat. 7 P.M. (CC)

• Wushu Warrior ‘08. Matt Frewer. In 19th-century China, a man unwittingly kidnaps the daughter of a brutal lord. (PG-13) (1:25) SHO: Sun. 5:45 A.M., Fri. 7 A.M.

• Wyvern ‘09. Nick Chinlund. A monstrous dragon terrorizes residents of a small town. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 7 P.M. (CC)

Y

• Year One ‘09. Jack Black. Two lazy primitives begin an epic journey through the ancient world after they are banished from their village. (PG-13) (1:40) STZ: Wed. 5:35 A.M., Thu. 11:50 A.M., 11:35 P.M. (CC)

• Yes, My Darling Daughter ‘39. Priscilla Lane. A feminist faces a moral dilemma when her daughter announces plans for a weekend getaway with her suitor. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Tue. noon (CC)

• Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow ‘64. Sophia Loren. An Oscar-winning trilogy of tales involving women who use their minds and bodies to get what they want. (NR) (2:00) TCM: Thu. 9:30 A.M.

• Yeti ‘08. Peter DeLuise. A legendary beast terrorizes members of a college football team after their plane crashes in the snowy Himalayas. (NR) (2:00) SYFY: Fri. 9 P.M. (CC)

• You Can Count on Me ‘00. Laura Linney. The straight-arrow life of a single mother begins to go into a tailspin when her drifter brother returns home. (R) (1:50) TMC: Tue. 10:45 A.M.

• You Got Served ‘04. Marques Houston. Street dancers work together to win a competition worth $50,000 and a spot in a music video. (PG-13) (2:00) BET: Sat. 7 P.M.

• Young Guns II ‘90. Emilio Estevez. Billy the Kid and his gang gallop to Mexico, chased by a federal posse led by Pat Garrett. (PG-13) (1:45) HBO: Mon. 12:30 P.M., Sat. 6:30 A.M. (CC)

• Young Tom Edison ‘40. Mickey Rooney. The inventor does experiments and grows up eccentric with his parents and sister in Port Huron, Mich. (NR) (1:45) TCM: Tue. 1:30 P.M. (CC)

• Youngblood ‘86. Rob Lowe. An upstate New York farm boy grows up the hard way after going to Canada to play semipro hockey. (R) (1:50) ENC: Wed. 1:50 A.M. (CC)

• You’re in the Army Now ‘41. Jimmy Durante. Two salesmen are drafted after attempting to sell their wares to a recruiting officer. (NR) (1:30) TCM: Sat. 6:30 A.M.

Z

• Zack and Miri Make a Porno ‘08. Seth Rogen. Two lifelong friends decide to make an adult film to solve their cash problems. (R) (1:45) SHO: Fri. 10 P.M.

• Zoolander ‘01. Ben Stiller. A supermodel befriends a rival while becoming mixed-up in a brainwashing and assassination plot. (PG-13) (1:30) SHO: Wed. 8:30 A.M., 5 P.M., Sat. 9 A.M., 12:35 A.M.

Television movies for the week of May 23

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While my post last week concluded with a disappointing draw between dude-led and lady-bred Top 40 pop music, this week it's all about the females. Another handful of mid-season pilots ("Hey guys, Coach said we were good enough after all!" they scream obnoxiously from the sidelines) were aired in the past couple weeks and I managed to catch exactly zero of them when they aired. In fact, if it weren't for the newfound magic of network television web sites airing full episodes and a fancy VGA cord to connect my laptop to my shiny new flat screen, I would have absolutely nothing to blog about this evening. What a frightful and inconvenient past we now have behind us! Anyway, all three pilots I semi-randomly decided to try out happened to each have their own unique take on one brand of protagonist: The Neurotic Woman. Take a look-see...

The Return of Jezebel James: Being a one-time Gilmore Girls junkie (I vowed to stop watching the show when Luke and Lorelai finally got together, and I easily kept my promise), I had to see what the pastel-hued khaki-colored Diablog Cody of the early to mid 00s, Amy Sherman-Palladino, was up to now. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from a half-hour sitcom about a children's book author/editor/publisher/I don't even know because they barely touched on her job even though half of the pilot took place in her office. However, I've always wanted to like Parker Posey in something (the closest I came was Suburbia) and I sure can dig Lauren Ambrose in Six Feet Under, until I stopped liking the characters, aka the fourth season. So I gave it a shot. The laugh track kills it. Seriously, if they just removed the laugh track, I might want to watch another episode. Maybe we've been spoiled though - despite the inexplicable love for How I Met Your Mother amongst a small faction of The Blogulator, no smart people like shows with laugh tracks anymore. So why put a smart writer/creator and two smart actresses in a show for dumb people?

It reminds me of the plot of the obvious-yet-still-fascinating The TV Set, a movie where David Duchovny tries to turn a good idea into a good show, but because of network airheads worried about ratings and conventions, it turns to crap. I believe the show in the movie was even originally called "The Rob Wexler Chronicles" or something similar to this show's inane title. Man and now I'm running out of space to talk about Posey's neurotic character Sarah, which feels so heavily edited to mine for laugh-trackable jokes that she loses all semblance of a personality. She says she's comfortably single, she says she's happy with her very successful career, and yet is more aloof and freaked out about the future than my cat after I take her food dish away. Add fast talking and a constant worried expression and you've got an uninteresting and vague version of Lorelai Gilmore. Oh well. Better luck next time, Sherman-Palladino (hint: stay away from Fox).

Miss Guided: I am indeed one of those people who says, "anybody from Arrested Development gets a free pass in my book" (as if anyone shouldn't live by this credo). So despite my hatred for ABC programming, and especially their lamer than lame attempts at comedy, I took a break from catching up on Lost on abc.com and gave a gander to Judy "Say Goodbye to These" Greer's return to television as a nerdy high school guidance counselor working at her alma mater. There's no laugh track, so at least it's better than Jezebel James. However, it liberally uses the Ferris Bueller/Zack Morris gimmick where almost all of the characters (that's right, not just the main character, which would be annoying enough) take a break from the hilarious antics of the story to turn to the camera and talk to you, the viewer. When all is said and done, the fourth wall seems to be broken during approximately 55% of the show's 22-minute pilot, which gets monotonous and nauseating, since (and this may be my mind playing tricks on me) the "whoosh" sound effect and camera sweep is utilized every single time.

Chris Parnell as the Vice Principal is the highlight of the show, playing a power-hungry version of the brilliant Leo Spacemen from 30 Rock, but still the pilot focused almost too heavily on Greer's character. It's better than Posey's character, because at least it's cohesive and not scatterbrained, but at the same time, the perpetually single awkward girl trying to gain a foothold in her lonely adulthood is more hilariously and 3-dimensionally personified by Tina Fey in the aforementioned 30 Rock. There's so many angles this show could be going with, and it's still focused on getting her together with the cute Spanish teacher. Still, it was harmless enough that I'll watch another couple episodes if I find the time.

Canterbury's Law: I really had no interest in watching this show, but after a mere 22 minutes of relaxation post-work, I needed something else to tide me over before I got to motivating myself to do some more grading (midterm madness) and Julianna Marguiles's stern eyes pierced my soul until I pressed play. I had no choice - I knew it was just a rote legal procedural, surely soon to be another entry in the long list of failed law dramas with C-list actors that act too hard (such as James Woods in Shark). I was so confused though, because I really could not comprehend why anyone would think that another generic law drama (with no twist like she's a lawyer...but she's also a paraplegic who is also superhero!) needs to be television. Even the new cop shows that come on now have some kind of UMPH! that make them stick out slightly above your CSI or your SVU. There has to be something new and different about it, right? But no - ER's former Nurse Hathaway is just your run-of-the-mill criminal defense attorney who won't take crap from no one (to the point of neurosis of course!) and is always right about everything. Sounds like a certain eye-rolling doctor I know that's also on Fox.

And yet, just like House, Elizabeth Canterbury (I am trying so hard not to complain about the terrible memories of high school British Literature the show trudges up) and her inflated anti-hero ego is so curious and sharp that the show, at moments, rises above its inherent mediocrity. Melodrama between her and the supporting cast (which includes performers who just clearly don't care anymore like Aidan Quinn, but also includes small fries I've always liked such as Ben Shenkman) does bring it way down below the watchability level at various times, but in the end, it's actually a show that has a complex female lead. I don't know what else about the show will be worth watching, but at least it's got one reason going for it.